▶ Your Answer :
As everything in life is like a coin which has two different
sides, people should weigh pros and cons before jumping to conclusions. After
all, each and every question of topic requires careful deliberation in that
there is always multiple variables to a truth. Even though some adamantly say
that the news media is a reliable source of unbiased information, I strongly
think such opinion lacks coherence to some extent. In my humble opinion, the
news media is not as reliable as people would think for the following reasons.
First and foremost, few people would deny that nowadays the news media
is inclined to be obsessed with the fastness rather than accuracy. As the
majority of netizens recognizes the fastest article or news in the net, the most
recent and fastest news catch people’s eyes which implies that fastness of
delivering news is directly related to the success of the press-company. To
illustrate my point more thoroughly, many reporters in press-company companies such as
MBC, SBS have fixation of finding exclusive facts . They sometimes wait for all day
long to ask some questions to some politicians or celebrities who are in issue.
Since fastness is reciprocally proportional to accuracy of the information,
their news could easily distorted or exaggerated. (글쓴이님의 주장은 '뉴스 미디어가 그렇게 신뢰도가 높지는 않다' 이므로, 이를 잘 설명할 수 있는 붉은색으로 표시된 문장에 대해 설명을 중점적으로 해주셔야 합니다. 미디어의 '빠름' 이라는 속성은 이러한 과정 속의 부수적인 요소이지, 지금과 같이 문단의 대다수를 차지해서는 곤란해요.)
On top of that, big capital can control the information that news
provide. Since press-companies cannot be operated without money, they are
vulnerable to enormous power of black money. Therefore, they can provide
misleading or distorted information controlled by lobby of some groups such as political
parties or major company. For instance, each and every turn of the political
situation, press-companies usually report the information which is favorable to
dominant political party. Generally, they try to hide the negative facts that
may harm the party’s reputation in conjunction with threaten from the party. This
prevents people from drawing proper evaluation of the party and makes them be
partial-minded on the (어떤 특정한 정치적 이슈를 지칭하는 것이 아닌, 정치적 이슈 그 자체에 대해 얘기하므로 the 는 올 필요가 없습니다.) political issues.
In summation, it is virtually impossible to provide a completely
satisfying answer to the open-ended question. Although the jury may be out of
this given topic, we can come to a mutual agreement that it is naive to believe
the news media is reliable source for unbiased information.
총평: 본론 첫 번째 문단은 위에서 말씀드린 이유로 인해 수정을 해주셔야 합니다. 저러한 관점에서 봤을 때 본론 두 번째 문단은 깔끔한 구조를 갖춘 편이므로 이를 참고해서 적어주시면 될 것 같아요. 항상 문단의 핵심이 무엇이 되어야하는지를 의식하고 글을 작성해주셔야 합니다! 수고하셨습니다 :) |