Today, the competition of getting good grades among students is very have the stiff competition in academic results.They need to get higher marks than their peers so that they can be superior to others when they apply for university. In school life,the high school is the most crucial stage for the successive successful future.The marks that the students get in high school exams mostly contribute much in to get the admission of in great university. OR Students should get high marks on their exams in order to get into top universities. The university mainly checks the marks of important subjects like English,Maths and Sceince.Therefore I disagree with the topic that it is important to learn music and art in high school.
밑줄친부분은 바디에 어울리는 내용같아요. 인트로에 너무 자세히 이야기를 풀어써서 무거워졌어요
First of all, in high school, the students have to focus on the major subjects.They study those subjects in school as well as in educational institutions till late night.Many parents stress the schools to replace the music and art subject with major subjects because the university prefers the students who have better scores in prevail over others in marks of major subjects.Also, Students have very limited time to study those subjects and they always study over night. They should not waste their time on learning music and art so that they can but use that time practically.This will direct the students into getting highter marks by studying efficiently.
Second, Students can learn art and music after their graduation graduating from high school. During university life, they have more free time that we they can spend on learing arts and music. them.Also it is better to learn them when they we have more free time so that they we can learn effectively efficiently. On the other hand, if students we learn them as highschool students, they will not have enough time to be engrossed in the subject, and arts and music require a lot of practice. with limited time, we can't pay our enough time. So it is better to learn them in universities where students can make more time for arts and music. I think we can learn more precisely when we have more free time during university life.
In conclusion, in high school, we have to concerntrate on our major subjects to get the highest marks and after graduation, we can spend most of our spare time on learning music and art. It is more efficient and precise to learn arts and music when we have a lot of spare time.
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