> > 2010-05-25 01:54:53, '' 님이 쓰신 글입니다. ↓
■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer | |
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Topic :
Some people say the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information.
Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? | |
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In these days it seems to be obvious that people rely on the internet more than the other things as the internet gives a lot of information to people. However, possibility to obtain a lot of information on the internet is not always helpful. People should see the other-side of the internet that can cause several problems while showing much information to us. It makes people hard to find proper information and give chance to access bad -> misleading information that can be used by bad intention.
First of all, as much information people can access on the internet, it is more difficult to find useful and correct information. For example, according to the number of people who take care about their health is being increased, many people usually search the information about the health and use it. However, most of the information does not come from the experts so that most of the tips about the injury or sickness are not the right information. Besides, if people used wrong methods to cure their illness it can cause more serious problems. In other words, while many people upload any information, getting proper one is going to be more difficult.
In addition, it cannot be sure that all the information founded on the internet is useful to society. There are many websites in which people share their experience and material which contains inappropriate information such as about the crimes.
In specific, people can find the way how to break the window without the noisy and use this method to do crimes. It seems to be clear that as there is no limitation to access bad information on the internet, people easily can gain them and use them which can damage to our society.
To conclude, even though the internet have become useful tool to for people, accessing a lot of information can might cause serious problems as it demands a lot of time to pick up the right information and give chancy to people with bad information more easily that the other media.
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제가 체크한것만 보세요.
문법같은건 조금만 더 공부하시면 금방 낳아지시겠지만, 표현력이 뒤떨어지십니다.
논리라던가 그런것은 좋습니다. 사람들은 정확하지 않은 정보를 얻을수도 있고, 이것은 심각한 피해가 될수도있다.
아이디어나 그런건 대학원이나 sat같은 스케일이 큰 시험이 아닌이상 상관없습니다.
그러나, 님의 문제점이 뭐냐면.. information can cause 라고 쓰셨던것과 같이 한국말이 그냥 영어로 바로 왔습니다.
즉, 영어의 표현법을 배우셔야할것 같습니다.
"우리집사람입니다." 이 표현이 미국에선 없죠. "She is our wife" 좀 그렇죠? 이렇듯 영어의 표현과 한국의 표현은 차이가 있습니다. even though the internet become useful. 인터넷은 실용적이된다? 말이안되죠?
그렇다고 the internet became useful 이라고 할까요? 대부분 괜찮다고 하실진 모르겠지만 사실 이것도 좋지 않은표현입니다. 현재는 안그렇다! 라는 뜻이 될수도있지요. 다소 어리버리한 표현입니다.
have become 이 가장 영어적이고 가장 정확한 표현이죠. 되어왔고, 현재 된 상태고, 앞으로도 그럴것이고.
한국분들이 for which, from which, of which 이런것들 그냥 껌으로 보시는경향이 있는데, (뜻만 배우니까) 미국사람들도 이거 자연스럽게 표현못할만큼 굉장히 고난이도 표현입니다.
The house in which he live.
문법적으론 맞는표현이죠. 근데 미국사람들 이해못해요. 거짓말같죠? 외국인한테 써보세요. 학생들 가르치는 선생님 아닌이상 절대 이해못합니다. 문법은 알되, 그 쓰임새를 모르면 라이팅 잘 못쓰는건 어쩔수없죠. 실제로도 단어의 쓰임새와 자연스러움을 터득하시려면 최소 미국에서 3년이상은 사셔야 조금 쓸줄 아는정도구요.
신문읽으시구요, 시제! 시제 익히는 방법부터 공부하시고. 단어 좀더 업그레이드하세요. ^^
of which for which 이런거 안쓰고도 충분히 만점 글 나옵니다. (실제 영자신문에도 저런표현 없습니다^^ 아주 간혹가다 하나 볼까말까한 정도죠.)