It is often said that Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication. In this rapidly changing world, The development of technology including the Internet and telephone enable a person to communicate with others more conveniently. However, I strongly agree with the above statement (여기서 statement 랑 above 랑 바꿔주시면 더 낳지않을까요;;?) that Face-to-face communication is better than any other means of communication. The rationale behind this is that communication with the Internet has a negative influence on promoting physical health. Moreover, Face-to-face communication helps people to maintain strong relationships with their friends.
To begin with, people fail to promote physical health (problems,issues) because of conveniency of technology such as the Internet. In other words, Today's people tend to spend too much time on talking online instead of talking face-to-face, which makes people inactive. In particular, inactive lifestyle has a negative effect on improve their physical health. It is evidenced(proved) by a number of clinical studies that which clearly show that spending too much time online increase the risk of hypertension and diabetes. In addition, there was a direct correlation between the amount of time spent online and a number of people who suffer from obesity. This clearly indicates that face-to-face communication is effective to maintain people's pyhsical health.
On top of that, face-to-face communication helps people to maintain strong relationship with their friends. Altough people who regularly use an E-mail is likely to meet a myriad of people from different background, it is more effective for people to strenghten their relationship with firends. According to a study recently released by Korean National Research Center, more than two-third surveyed respondents mentioned that face-to-face communication make it possible to improve thier relationships. This is because, by using an E-mail or phone calls, it is impossible for people to make a true friendship In conclusion, The advantage of face-to-face communication far outweigh that of using an E-mail or phone calls. Face-to-face communication is better to maintain both physical health and strong relationships. Thease are the two most convincing reasons for my contention. ( i recommend the word assertion)
내용들이 주장들과 함께 잘 어울러 저있네용 .. 꼭 만점 받으시길.. !!
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