Those who have never experienced irritating situations in a movie theater might prefer watching movies in a theater to doing at home. However, to me, it gives much more fun to watch it at home. There are two main reasons why I think in this way; first, there’s no distraction to appreciate it, second, there is much more convenience at home.
문장을....좀 direct하게 쓰시는게 좋을듯해요.
그리고 첫번째 문단이니까.. why I think in this way...보다 정확하게 하는게좋을듯.
However, I personally think that watching moive at home is much more fun. There are two main reasons why I think watching moive at home is much better than theater; No distraction from others and more convenient environment to enjoy.
참고로...저도 ;는 안쓴지 오래되서 어떻게 쓰는지 까먹었네요... 근데 위에 쓰신것처럼은 아니었던듯.
To begin with, when it comes to getting distractions from other people, enjoying a movie in your house is a better way than in a theater. 좀 돌려말한 느낌이 오네요...그냥 direct하게 해주세요.
To begin with, whenever I get/feel distracted from other people, it makes me thinking of myself enjoying a movie at home. (이것도....저도 쓰고 썩 마음에 안드는 문장이네요 ㅠㅠ.)
When we watch a movie at a theater, there are so many interferences that make me not focus on movies, when you go to a theater. Some people might be too noisy talking with each other. Also, sometimes cellular phones are ringing around the theater so that most people usually cannot concentrate on the contents of the movie they are watching. Once, I had a very similar experience when I saw a movie named “Transformer” in one of my classes/in my _______ class. Some people nearby me were talkative/noisy/distractful so talkative so (이상하죠?) that I could not enjoy the movie. They not only made me not enjoy the movie happily, but also made me upset. If I would watch it at home, I might not have experienced this bad situation at all.
As I mentioned above, there are the two main reasons why I firmly believe that it is more fun to watch movies at home compared to movie theaters. People will not get distracted and enjoy it with more convenience. For these reasons, I disagree with the given statement.
마지막문단....이런식으로 그냥 위에말한것들 나열한다는 느낌보다는....
좀더 정리한다는느낌을 줄수있도록요...paraphrase해주시고요
한번 다른사람들이 쓴거 찾아읽어보시길바래요.
그리고 the given statement말고 명확하게 말해주시는게 마무리 단계에선 좋을듯하네요