잘 쓰셨는데요..! 너무 겸손하신거 아니신지...
ABCD 틀렸거나 이상한 것이 아니고요, 공부하시는 중에 참고로 보시면 되고요
ABCD 고쳐 주세요
As a small size family is generalized in modern society, ← As a small family is common these days
it has become noticible that many people have a close relationship with their pets. ←
many people raise pets.
Some people still do not feel comfortable with treating an animal like a human. ←
Some people still are uncomfortable with pets.
However, I think having good relationships with ones a pet is good once they decide to adopt an animal. ← 앞 뒤를 바꿔서 써주시고 이유를 간략하게나마 설명해 주시면 좋을 듯 하네요
Once they decide to raise a pet, this is helpful for 이유, 이유, and 이유... 정도로...
Firstly, ← 이상할건 전혀 없고요, 전에 담당 교수님이 이 표현은 예전 표현이다. First 만 써도 무방하다 라고
알려 주시더라고요, 그래서 이렇게 쓰고 싶다고 했더니 ... '그래라' 라고 했습니다.
Pets are tamed animals as in the way we want them to be. ← People could tame pets as they want them to do.
As they also have feeling, sense and IQ like humans we have, they understand that they are belong to certain a family. ← 여기에서 종속절과 주절의 주어가 같으니까 앞 문장(종속절의 종속접속사 as와 주어 they를 생략하고 have 에 ing 만 붙이면 되겠네요, 분사구문으로...
Having feeling, sense and IQ like humans, they understand...
Once they are tamed, they do not act like stray ←어떤 의미로 쓰셨는지... animals anymore, ← 일단 길들이기가 끝나고 나면... 다음의 주절을 긍정으로 써주세요
which means they wait for their water, food and even owner's order. ← 밑줄 빼시고 이어주시면 더 좋겠습니다.
If we neglect our own duty for a pet as an owner, pets' needs, it could be the same that we neglect our own things to do for baby. children.
That is the first thing we have to knowledge understand (or realize)
when we decide to take them home that those animals also have lives . raise them.
Consequently, it can be a good educational method of for teaching children about responsibility.
When I was a little girl, my mother did not allow me to bring any animals
because of my irresponsible attitude. laziness.
I was told that I had to give them food and water in regularily time, to bring them out for walk. to take them on walk.
아니면, I was told that I have to good take care of them, washing them, taking them on walk, and giving them food.
Lastly, pets give family members companionship especially for senior citizens. ←'준다' 라는 표현 방식도 상관 없지만, 직접적으로 '~이다' 라고 써보시면 어떨런지요
Last, pets could be good company (to ease anxiety...) especially for seniors.
It is easy to be see n that many elders ly keep pets. Even for children home-alone ← 순서 바꿨습니다. whose parents are working, ← 애완견과 아이를 홀로 남겨놓고 일하는 부모님은 거의 없는듯, 논리상 적합하지가 않으니 다른 문장으로 바꿔 써보세요
pets can roll as a family member. ← 역할을 한다고 할 때는 play 란 말을 씁니다. play a roll...
pets could be a family member. In fact, many people treat them as family members. Some pets even inherit a fortune from their owners. Pets sometimes have fancy burial.
Surly I do not agreed with people who over treat pets. ← '좋은 친구다' 주장을 합니다. 이런 문장이 도움이 되지는 않습니다. 예를 들어봅니다.
난 빨강색이 너무 진해서 싫어, 잘 번지고 눈에도 잘 띄고, 너무 강해 그래서 흰색이 좋아 ← 이 구문
난 깨끗하고 편안하고 무언가 기록도 할 수 있고, 어디에서도 잘 어울려서 그래서 흰색이 좋아 ← 라는 구문
정확하진 않아도 위 두 구문의 차이가 무엇인지 아시겠지요..!!!
Sometimes people so called animal lovers make cause people to frown the face because of their obsessive expression over own for the pets.
In conclusion, as I mentioned above, I insist that it is good that ← 저라면 빼겠습니다.
people have a close relationships with their own pets for not only our their sake but also animals' lives once they decide to bring home.
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울엄마 화이팅~!!!
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