앞서 한번하다가 날라간 관계로 2문단만 할꼐요.
그리고 참고로 저는 첨삭..이라기보단 suggestion입니다 ㅎㅎ
첨삭해드리기에는 문법실력이 딸리거든요.
-읽어보실때 주어 동사 일치와 단수 복수에 중점을 두고 읽어주세요.
Many adults who have children parents say that a teacher's ability to give knowledge for students is the most important factor. This is because caused by parents' misunderstanding, only intelligent students are able to be successful. In contrast contrary, most of the people believe that one who has morarity is better than the one only well studies. I agree with this statement above with the above statement because a teacher's ability to relate well with students allows childrens to grow their social skills and morality.
First of all, a social teachers teacher can educate their students to the ability how to interact with others. This is because these teachers' the teacher's social skills become a role-model to students and students can use these way of interaction in the social space real life. If a teacher provides only knowledge to their students, they cannot employ these useful social skills. In my country, Republic of Korea, many people are mainly considered about their children's study ability. This brings about growing aura that most of the Korean did not communicate well in the public space.