The job, A teacher, is one of the most respected occupations in my country, Korea. 첫문장에서 다음 문장 흐름이 부자연스러워요 ;ㅅ; Some teachers teach a student abundant knowledge, but some teachers do not. Therefore, some people might say that teachers should be paid according to their students' achievements; however, It might be harmful in a number of ways. Students might not get well-rounded education and might not get less cared well.
In school, a peer's accomplishment is calculated based on his or her test and quiz marks. Therefore, if teachers get salaries according to their students' marks in class, some teachers, who value money the most, might only focus on material that would be seen on a test. As a result, students might not be able to learn concepts that are not on their tests, which means it is unlikely that they get a well-rounded education. Furthermore, some teachers may only emphasize only on test results and test scores, not the learning process, and it this is harmful for students. Furthermore, if students only acquired strategies to get a high mark, they may not have any practical knowledge left in their head.
Students might need individualized attention about their personal issues; however, if teachers get salary based on students' marks, the this attention might be reduced. Students are generally amateur growing individuals; therefore however, if the attention is lessened, they might not develop into healthy people. Education’s original purpose could be might be destroyed. I recently read an article about a school that who initiated the teacher salary program, and the result was devastating. Students, whose parents are busy working, did not have any adult to discuss their private problems because most of the teachers were merely trying to teach students questions that were are going to be on tests.
In this materialistic society, teachers should not be paid according to their students' accomplishments because they might focus on numbers. This is because it could result students to not acquire practical knowledge, but only to learn how to get a high mark on tests. Furthermore, students might not have any adult to counsel with.
예상점수는 25점 정도에요 :) 문단 시작할 때 statement을 써주시면 더 좋을것 같아요. topic이 명확하게 보이게요 ~ |