As the society has become becomes more complex than ever before, some people might say that a person should not make an important decision alone since it brings about unpredicted results. However, I strongly disagree with them. That is because, these days, there are is a flow of/a lot of (affluent는 풍족한,부유한 이런 문맥에 쓰여서 여기에 안어울리는듯. 꼭 바꾸실 필욘 없지만 그냥 참고하세요 !) affluent information which one may gather to use to help they them decide. Also, making decision alone will help to accumulate one's ability to determine decide when the a person really needs to decide by oneself.
First of all, in the past, making decision solely was risky than recent one because a person could get just limited information then. They had to rely on other's opinion and experience to decrease the dangers. However, we can get a lot of information through the hundreds of media such as the Internet and the TV. It is more diverse than just a few people around oneself. For example, if we need to buy a apartment, there are bulk of information about it on the net. All we need is just several clicks of mouse to gather (collect) the information and use it(information이니깐 them x) to help decide. / apply it to my decision. channel them to mine.
Not only that, it is important to decide alone because it help the future’s decision. Let's assume that a person always relies on other's opinion. What if he confronts the a situation which doesn't allow the other's opinion? He may be confused because he never decided alone in the past. The example would be a student who is in abroad with no experience of deciding alone. If there is no one around, no possibility to communicate with anyone, he would be confused about the situations. Therefore his disability to make decision will lead leads him to even more dangerous situations such as failures in his life abroad/overseas. abroad life.
In a nutshell, I'm against the statement that a person should never make an important decision alone since there is substantial information around us to help making decision alone. Also we can decide by ourselves with just me through the past practice when we really need to make one by wholly oneself. Also, the habit of making a decision alone will be helpful when there is no choice but to decide by ourselves.
**문법적 오류도 별로 없고 내용도 좋은 것 같아요 ! 고친내용은 그냥 이렇게 쓰면 더 좋지 않을까 ~ 하는 suggestion 이니 틀렸다고 생각하지 마시구 참고하세요 ^^