▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, governmental supports play a significant role in people‘s lives in the places where they work and play. Some people think that governments should invest more in recreational facilities such as play grounds or public swimming pool while others think differently. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that investing in art museums and music performances is much more important than supporting recreational facilities. There are some reasons as follows. First of all, people should have more opportunities to enjoy arts in a rational price. In other words, going to art museums and music performances is too expensive to ordinary people so that people often feel like they have a distance from art activities. If the government invest to in the arts, people will be more intimated of arts and visit the museums and music concerts more often. Therefore, supporting art and music is more beneficial to residents. However, recreational facilities are relatively cheaper, and are even offered freely. On the top of that, supporting museums and concerts enables people to improve the sense of artistic knowledge. Liberal arts have been a significant factor nowadays. In other words. cultural understanding helps people to raise their insights and it often results in making a good decision. It can be advantagieous people to think differently and raise their capacity. For example, my oldest sister, who majored math, was completely not interested in art and music. However, she has changed after she visited public art museum. She saw the exhibition about contemporary art, and soon realized it is closely related with her major. Such experience lead her to write her graduate research that combining arts and mathematics, and it helped her get a job with a major company. Even though recreational facilities might be beneficial in the aspects of physical healthy, but they cannot improve the intellectual ability. All things considered, The advantages of supporting art galleries and music performances far outweigh those of invesiting recreational facilities as I mentioned above. All in all, continual investing of arts cannot be overestimated in people’s lives.
예상 점수: 17-21 총평: 글을 전체적으로 짜임새 있게 잘 서술해주셨습니다. 아쉬운 점이 있다면 철자 문제와 어휘 선택입니다. 항상 글을 쓰시고 난 후 기본적인 실수를 하지 않게 글을 다시 한번 읽어보시면 좋을 것 같아요. 조금 더 명확하게 글을 쓰시기 위해서 관사와 일부 단어를 추가해서 써주시는게 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다.
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