■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :
The most effective way for a country to progress is to improve its schools. |
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▶ Your Answer :
Recently, a debate on whether the most effective way for a country to progress is to improve its schools has been (수동태) brought about. This is an intriguing question because options concerning this issue can be different relying on individual perspectives. However, I am in line with those who believe that improving schools is not an effective way for a country to progress. Apparently, there are diverse reasons and I would like to scrutinize some of its essentialities that are mentioned here.
First, it is impossible to improve each school since there are so many different schools which have different educational levels. Therefore, improving schools takes a lot of time and money, remaining a country undeveloped. In my experience, when I was in high school, the president of the educational department in the state wanted to change all the school’s policy about the hair. At that time, we should have cut the hair below three (아라비아 숫자 사용을 하지 말아주세요) centimeters from the ear and he wanted the students to (to부정사) have more freedom in their hairstyle. However, his plan was scattered because many schools wanted (시제 -> 과거 시제) to keep their policy not to loosen their students. Through this experience, I could know that changing every school is so difficult.
On top of that, the assistance of the local community is more effective way than improving schools. In my country, South Korea, there is subsidies for the poor in my area. For them, the government helps (주어 동사 불일치) the homeless to give a house in cheaper price for living. Also, the government opens several lectures for people who want to learn about different fields and these lectures give useful opportunities in the job market. Through these options, there are more other ways for a country to progress besides developing schools and I believe these ways are beneficial which as a result allows country to make economic growth.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that in order to develop a country, improving its school is not the best option. All things considered, it is my belief that my argument regarding this topic has been efficiently and precisely delivered with the reasons mentioned above. Therefore, nothing in my mind regarding the issue overweighs the idea stated above.
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. 이유 두 가지는 모두 합리적으로 잘 작성된 것 같습니다.
사례도 적절하게 잘 쓰였습니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*