■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : Some people believe that government funding of the arts is necessary to ensure that the arts can flourish and be available to all people. Others believe that government funding of the arts threatens the integrity of the arts. |
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▶ Your Answer : Some people think (주어 동사 불일치) that the government funding of the arts will give the positive impact on the arts and the public, but it also frightens (주어 동사 불일치) the creativity of the arts. In some aspects, I fully agree with the two points of the view. The government funding can give opportunities for both artists and general people to enjoy and improve the arts. The original (품사) purpose of the government funding, however, is quite (철자 오류) different from the advance of the art itself. To begin with, government funding would be able to maximize the opportunity of people to see the arts. To illustrate, Lotte group, one of the big company in Korea, held the artistic event periodically, and it has given a chance for people to see the famous artifacts including picture of the Picasso. Likewise, public museums have a lot of artistic events that people can readily pay for seeing it. Generally to see the famous master piece in other country is needed to expense huge money that have flight fare. Although all people in Korea could not participate in public artistic events held in public museum and lotte tower, these effort for the arts should be continued to give a chance as much as possible the government can support. On top of that, the economical stability supported by government funding would guarantee the development of the arts. Unless the artist do not have enough money for everyday life, he and she has to find temporary job or part time job to earn money. In considering that career activities are usually related to economical profit, those circumstance might force the artist to create a commercial piece not an artistic one. However, government funding is able to give them economical freedom and will make possible to encourage diverse new attempts of the arts. By receiving the support of the government artists are able to concentrate on their works and it will improve the realm of the arts. Government assets, however, can circumscribe the activities of the artists. The purpose of the funding is for the flourishing of the arts, but the upper purpose of that is for the service for the public. In many cities, many artists supported by the government funding work in the public class such as piano class for the elder or children. It does not mean that all cities require the artists to teach the public, but it also reveals that whether the artists can concentrate on their own work or not is depends on the city policy. It seems that government asset for the arts would not be fully used for its (it's -> it is / its -> it의 소유격) purpose. To sum, public funding will give great chance for the people, but it will be dealt with only artistic purpose for its development. The policy which ultimate the positive effect and minimize the negative effect should be considered in a city counsel. |
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. 철자 오류가 잦은 편입니다. 심한 감점의 요인이 될 수 있으니, 에세이 작성을 마치시고 꼼꼼히 검토해주세요.
+) 단어를 외우실 때 스펠링을 집중적으로 외워주세요.
3. 사소한 문법 오류가 잦은 편입니다. proof-reading을 꼼꼼하게 해주세요.
특히 주어 동사 일치가 전혀 안 되고 있습니다. 참고해주세요.
4. 바디를 3개에서 2개로 줄이시고 2개를 더 자세하게 설명해주시면 좋을 거 같아요.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*