▶ Your Answer :
There might be some people who believe that expanding access to the Internet should be supported more than public transportation by government. However, I personally disagree with the above idea for the subsequent two reasons. First, public transportation is more important matter than Internet access. Second, it is already accessible to internet network. First of all, public transportation is more serious matter than Internet access. With the invention of transportation technology, it made available for people to move diverse of places easily people move to diverse places easily. However, this also caused transport congestion and rush hour especially commuting time. Due to this fact, most of people living in city suffer from stress and mental fatigue.(그러기 때문에 교통부분이 좋아졌는지에 대한 설명이 명시되어야합니다) Let me bring my personal story as an example. I usually spend two hours commuting. This makes me physically hard and stressed. When I come back home after finishing work, I feel so tired that I don't do anything but sleep all night long. If public transportation is improved, I would be more energetic and healthy. On the top of that, accessing internet is already available and easy. To be specific, as modern society has transferred information-based society, most of people do their work by internet. So the internet is an inevitable means for people these days and to satisfying this demand, internet is already accessible to people. Government revenue comes from the people's taxes, so it is important for governments to prioritize what spending would be wise what should be the important factors to spend. According to the recent survey done by ss institution, 95% of Korean household already have broad internet access. The survey also shown that 97% of public stores or library in Korea provide free WI-FI. This clearly shows that the internet access is already constructed and it is better for government to spend money on other necessary problems such as public transportation. In conclusion, government should spend more money on public transportation not only the transportation system has little problems but also internet access is already available. In this regard, I strongly argue that government should support improving public transportation. Fair: 17~23 점수: 23 일단 문법적으로 틀린 부분이 많고 반복적인 부분이 많습니다 이러한 부분을 먼저 고쳐주시길 바랍니다. 또한 두 번재 부분의 이유가 타당성이 부족합니다. 좀 더 설득력있는 설명들이 필요할 거 같습니다. 수고많이하셨습니다. |