Dear 로나:
I made some comments on your work. I hope you find this useful.
Cheers,
oxidejo
There are several ways of studying. , which generally can be categorized in two waysGenerally, it can be divided into two ways, . which One is studying in a group and the other is studying alone. In some cases, one specific way of study is required between them[C1] . Group studyStudy as in group is necessary for a team project, for example. However, I prefer studying alone for two reasons below.
First of all, I can manage the schedule for myself convenience[C2] when I study alone. When more than two people are gathered for specific goal, it is inevitable to set the time schedule together. They need to take a rest at the same time and study at the same time, which requires sacrifice from each other. And [C3] In addition, they could be easily distracted by each other. When I was in college, I need to study for the next day exam once. I gathered three more students for more information about the subject. After 10 pm, we went out to eat. However, it ended up to spend more time at the restaurant chatting about other things, such as TV, magazines, and movie stars and etc..[C4] It was 3 am when we decided to go back to the library. The score of the exam next day wasn’t not[C5] good at all.
Second of all, I prefer studying alone especially for creative works. I believe [C6] Creativity creativity comes from research by oneself such as reading different kinds of references and deep thoughts to generalize various ideas. Discussion about final output is always productive, but studying for the ideas needs to be done by oneself for deeper thoughts. When I was in design school, some students studied together for idea sketches. At the presentation day, those students were all worried since the outputs were pretty similar and the professor thought that they copied each other and the evaluation could not be worse.[C7]
Studying in a group sometimes could be effective when there are issues to be discussed and problems to be solved by argument.[C8] However, I prefer studying alone since I could manage my own time and think about topics deeply by myself for my own conclusion.
I [C1] am afraid I do not understand what you mean.
[C2]I think you meant "for your convenience" rather than "for yourself" because you can manage your schedule even if you study with your friends.
[C3]Please try not to use "and", "but", "or", and "so" to start a sentence, it is not recommended in an arcademic writing.
[C4]In an academic writing, it is advisable to use the format this way rather than "A, B, etc." or "A, B, and so on."
[C5]Please do not use contractions in an academic writing, unless it is inevitable.
[C6]I think it is safer to add "I believe" or "I think" rather than state as it is because people have different opinions about where creativity comes from.
[C7]Good example! However, I think it would have been much better if you added the result of students who prepared individually. Were their work better than those who prepared the project together?
[C8]You have not mentioned that studying in a group could be effective in your body paragraphs. Conclusion is not supposed to contain any new information about the topic. If you wanted to add this part you should have mentioned this somewhere in your body paragraphs.