헐..... 10분정도 오바했어요....ㅠ 코멘트해주시면ㅠ 감사하겠습니다! 120. Decisions can be made quickly, or they can be made after careful thought. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The decisions that people make quickly are always wrong. Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.
In these days, making a decision is an important quality that all people should have. Some people can make decisions quickly and some people consider deeply and carefully make decisions. I think there is a little bit of difference in making decisions one by one. However, I strongly disagree with the statement that the decisions that people make quickly are always wrong <-문제에 똑같이 나와있는 문장 그대로 쓰지마세요, paraphrase 하시는게 좋습니다., because there apparently exist some necessary situations that people should have make decisions quickly.
First <- 다른 좋은 표현들 많습니다. First, Second 쓰지 마세요,, people have to make a quick decision in one's daily life. Choosing a menu in a restaurant and selecting a movie to see in a theater are the most trivial examples, but the most important things in our life.<-생활속의 빠른 결정이 왜 중요한 것인지 이유가 없네요, These need<-지시대명사 쓰지마시고 확실한 대상을 찝는게 좋습니다. a quick judgement. When people hesitate in these situation<-무슨상황?, they sometimes can miss a chance. To illustrate, while I pondered the video tapes between 'Love actually' and 'Harry Potter' at a video rental shop, someone took out both two video tapes at once.<-이 다음에 내가 결정을 빨리 해서 비디오를 선택했다면, 다른사람이 두가지 모두를 가져가서 내가 한편도 못보는 상황은 발생하지 않았을것이다..(구체적인 결론 언급이 필요합니다.) Regretting what I did not make a decision quickly, I had to return home without any video. Likewise, carful thought cannot be the most rational judgement in our everyday lives.
Second, some occupations need a quick judgement. It is mainly attributed to the fact that the quality of making decision affects the result of victory and defeat or depends on one's life. For example, let's imagine <-이런 가정 보다는 실제 예를 드는 것이 더 좋습니다. a soccer match. A player <-실제 주인공 이름으로 바꾸면 되겠죠 drives a goal and he or she has two choices. One is that he or she shoots the ball and another is that he or she passes the ball to another player. Has he or she consider these choices easily? <- 이런 질문 방식은 월등히 수준 높은 글 아니면 쓰지 않는게 좋습니다. The answer is definitely no, because of a limited time. Let's think about another situation.<-상황 가정식 서술 수정하세요 In a hospital, a surgeon makes a quick decision to operate an urgent patient because he knows that the patient would die if he did not determine quickly. I firmly believe that the surgeon is a wise man. <-마지막은 본론2를 요약하는 문장이 있으면 더 좋겠습니다. 빠른 결정이 늘 나쁜 것은 아니다.
All in all, I strongly believe that the statement above <- 구체적 문장을 써주셔야죠. 위 진술이 잘못된다는 의미같습니다. is wrong, because a quick decision is needed in our daily life and in an important moment as wee seen.
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윗글 전체적으로 문장들이 너무 평이해요,,
SW 공부하시면서 익히신, 비교급, 도치 등을 문장에 이용하시면 더 좋습니다. 동일한 단어들도 동의어로 바꾸셔야 하구요,,