■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic :
Television should be used to instruct people rather than to entertain them. |
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▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that people should use television as academic purpose because of being more professional individuals in order to live today’s competitive society. However, in my opinion, television is not good method for people to learn something for the following several reasons. First of all, people’s consensus view is that television is the way to enjoy time. People tend to exploit television for entertainment, not for studying. It is obvious that most of programs in television are entertaining programs. For example, there was a survey conducted by Seoul National University to determine people’s preference about TV programs with 200 university students as respondents. The overwhelming 78% had responded that they watched television in their free time, so they usually preferred to watch entertainment programs, such as the TV show, the drama, and the movie. They added that when they turned on the TV, most of programs were formed of enjoying contents. This survey proves that people think that the purpose of watching television is not for acquiring some information but for enjoying and relieving stress. On top of that, television is not effective to instruct people than other methods, such as online lecture. TV programs have schedule, so people who want to watch specific program have to promise the time. On the other hand, people can listen to the online lectures whenever they want. Moreover, people can choose a variety of subjects what they want to get knowledge on (전치사 필요). As a rule of thumb, for instance, when I was in high school, I listened to a math lecture from television in order to prepare for Korean SAT. I had to watch the lecture at 5 a.m. since it was only provided at the time. It was too early, so I was not able to watch all the lectures. I decided to enroll the online lecture and it was a (관사 필요) really good choice. I was able to listen to all the lectures at anytime and I got valuable grade from math and I was able to enter the university where I wanted to enter. (문장에 and이 너무 많이 쓰이고 있습니다. 간결하게 잘라주세요) To sum up, people are likely to consider that television should be used in leisure time for fun. Also, television is not a (관사) good way for people to learn something. In this regard, I firmly believe that people should not use television to acquire intelligence but to be fun.
예상점수도 함께 부탁드립니다. 감사합니다. |
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1. 사소한 문법 오류가 잦은 편입니다. proof-reading을 꼼꼼하게 해주세요.
특히 전치사와 관사 사용에 대한 개념이 아예 잡혀있지 않은 것 같습니다.
전치사 관사 위주로 문법 공부를 진행해주세요.
2. 첫 번째 바디의 설득력이 상당히 떨어집니다.
다른 사람들이 그렇게 생각하니까 이렇다 라는 식은 appeal to popularity 밖에는 되지 않습니다.
대중의 의견 말고 필자가 작성하는 이유를 써주시기 바랍니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*