▶ Your Answer :
Recently, a problem whether people can deal with problems on their own or government assistance is necessary has become a heated topic brought out. The answer of this question is greatly vary depending on the individual's perspectives. However, after pondering upon the idea from several views points, I am in favor of the opinion that government should assist people to solve a problem. I will explain my views on this. First of all, some terrible problems can not be handled by alone. (Such as?) Some problems are too serious to solve independently. To be specific, in our country sold soups (What is that?) making fresh air. Because many people believed that their good effects bought them and used for their babies. One day, many babies got disease, which was fatal, even if some neonates died. A doctor was aware that the soups are highly likely to have possibility to occur this situation. However, he could not give more evidence regarding evident this relation. So government was required to reveal by a person. (Wrong grammar) Like this problem, assistance of governments is necessary. More over, many researches shows that a lot of people want government's helping when they face a problem. The Mearae university has conducted many surveys. (About what?, Where is the univ located in?) They asked people. "What is the best way to solve the problem and what is the reason why are you think so?" The most people said. "If government supports to solve the problem, it would be the best way to arrange the problem. Because it makes easy to find the way." While reading this survey, I got to know government assistance is necessary. A person can not solve some problems that is difficult to arrange and a lot of people think that government assistance makes them convenient. For these reasons I strongly believe that government assistance is necessary.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 2
| 2 | 2 | Score | Limited 10-16 |
- 대화체의 그래머 사용방식이 틀립니다. Most people said that "~~" 또는 , saying " ". 식으로 나타내셔야 합니다.
- More over는 붙여서 Moreover로 나타내주세요.
- Because는 종속절 역할을 제외하고는 단독으로 앞으로 나와서 쓰이지 않습니다. - Some problems 보다는 Crime의 예시가 더 많은 내용을 가져올 것으로 보입니다.
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