그냥 제 생각인데여... and 앞뒤의 병치구조가 좀 걸리는듯 싶네요...
뭐... a chance to take... and to relax.... 이런식이요...뒤의 to 는 생략해두 될듯 싶네요.
그리구, 관사의 사용이 좀 어색한듯 싶습니다......저두 자세히는 말씀드리기는 힘드네요....
잘 쓰신것 같은데.....계속 노력하시면, 좋은 점수 받으실것 같습니다.
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┼ ▨ 이정도 쓰면 몇점일까여? - 영화처럼 ┼
│ #146 Some people prefer to spend free time outdoors. Other people prefer to spend their leisure time indoors. Would you prefer to be outside or would you prefer to be inside for your leisure activities? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.
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│ There are two ways to spend on leisure. People can enjoy their free time either indoors or outdoors. I prefer to spend it outdoors because getting outside gives me a good relationship with others and helps me to become more healthy.
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│ First of all, being outdoors gives me the opportunity to try new activities and meet new people. I can play tennis or go to watch a movie with my friends. I can also have a good time to enjoy a baseball with my family. When I was a high school student, I attended many group activities at school. This was very good chance to make new friends. Therefore, being outdoors can be help to improve relationship with others and to make new friends.
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│ In addition, being outdoors means a chance to get rid of stress and to relax myself from daily routines. I can visit beautiful mountains, lakes and other famous places. Both a fresh air and a wonderful scene make me to refresh. This is good remedy to eradicate stress in my mind and to take myself easy. Therefore, being outdoors enable me to have a good health in both mental and physical aspects.
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│ All things considered, I think that I’d like to spend my free time outdoors. That seems to be more beneficial to me because I can obtain a good relationship with others and a good in shape.
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