▶ Your Answer :
Some
people think that getting advice from older people is better because they have
more experiences than younger people. However, in my opinion, I think it is better to get advice
from my friends or peers. There are two reasons why I think this way. The first
reason is that my friends and my peers are currently going through in the same circumstances with me.
Also, I am do not enjoy talking with elderly with some reasons. (Too negative voice)
To
begin with, my friends and peers usually understand me very well. We are living in a
society with endless competition. Everyone is aware that succeeding achieving a success in this
society is like a camel passing through the eye of a needle. One’s ability can
be clouded by other’s abilities. Thus, many people get pressure not only
physically but mentally. For example, there was a poll conducted by (students or professors?) psychology majors
in Seoul National University. However, they made a questionnaire and let people
answer. There were two questions given to participants. Those questions were mainly about getting advice by friends or
elderly. The percentage of former was much higher than latter. To be specific,
the former was 79% and the latter was 18%, and last 4% of people did not
answer. This is because, people feel more comfortable when they talk to their
friends and they understand each other better as they are going through the
same hardships.
On
top of that, I feel very uncomfortable when I try to talk with older people.
They always tend to teach me. However, they do not listen to me. Also, I have
pressure to meet their expectations. When it comes to talking about my grades
to older people, I feel grumpy and I cannot enjoy that time. Moreover, I cannot
assert my opinion to them. Since Korea is well-known for manners, young people
cannot argue with the old. For example, last year, when I was just about to enter
the university, (Sounds bit awkward) I consulted with my parents about choosing University. However,
I could not gain any useful information and they just forced me to go to the good
university without any other explanation.
To sum up, friends are very similar to me and the old are usually
uncomfortable to talk. In this regard, I
would like getting advice from my friends and peers rather than older people.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 4
| 3 | 4 | Score | Fair 18-23 |
- be 동사와 do 동사를 한꺼번에 쓰지 않도록 유의하여 주세요.
- 두 번째 내용이 상당히 부정적인 관점을 시사하고있기 때문에 표현을 좀 더 완곡해서 나타내주시는 것이 좋습니다. 내용에서 언급된 manner와 관련하여 elderly를 존경하는 전통, 딱딱한 분위기 등등을 언급해서 속의 마음을 털어놓기 어렵다는 등으로 서술하여 주세요. |
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