▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that teacher’s earning
should be based on their students’ grade. However, as far as I am concerned, I
think it is unfair because all students’ level is different and each teather will
not get same earning despite teaching same jubject. Another reason for my
opinion is teachers will only endeavor
to improve students’ grade.
To begin with, students’ performance is
varying according to their studying methods or teacher’s teaching skill. To be
specific, it will appear competitiveness between teachers and all teachers will
prefer students who are intelligent. A study was conducted by Gallup with Seoul
Natiinal University students as respondents. The purpose of the survey was to
understand the consensus view about grade gaps between studetns. A majority of
respondetns ranked very high over not. An overwhelming 76% had responded that
each student’s score was not analogous because they had different studying
backgrounds and were learned from other professor. Although they learned same
subjects, all students got not same grades. Thus, if teachers’ got their income
related on students’ result, it will occur unfairness among teachers because
each learner is dissimilar their achievement.
On top of that, teachers will only develop
their teaching methods, not considering other fields. The duty of teachers
involves not only improving students’ knowledge and but also personality.
Teachers should lead the correct way about students’ character. For example, I
will illustrate my experience as an example. When I was a high school student,
there was a math teacher who was very kind and encouraged students all day and had
good personality. The teacher was good at teaching math and also gave positive
advice to students when students were tired to studying. I was able to study
harder because the teachers comforted me and cheerep me up. Also, I was
affected his characterictic and I became more positive and optimistic. This
shows that teachers have big impact on studetnts’ characteristic, so they
should not only concentrate on their skills.
To sum up, each student’s performance is
different due to their various situations. Also, teachers will put their effect
only exclusively upgrading students’ grade if they get salaries based on their
scores. In this regard, I firmly thinkg that teachers should not be earned
their money in terms of students’ practice.
spelling 오류가 조금씩 보입니다. 있다는 것은 proof reading을 안 했다는 뜻과도 같으니 주의해주세요. 주장을 적을 때 research결과나 예시보다는 주장 설명이 조금 더 길게 나와야 합니다. 특히 첫번째 main paragraph의 경우에 supporting detail을 더 길게 적고 research결과는 조금 더 concise하게 적으면 훨씬 설득력있게 다가올 것 같습니다. 전체적으로 어휘가 조금 아쉽습니다. 특히 연결사의 경우에 also보다는 조금 다양한 연결사 쓰는 게 좋을 것 같아요. (항상 겹치는 어휘 없도록 적는 게 좋습니다
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