■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :Mobile phones have given people more freedom.
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▶ Your Answer :
Some
people might believe that mobile phones have given people more freedom because
they think cell phones have made our lives
much convenient. However I doubt the above idea for the two subsequent reasons.
First, we can't be truly alone or be with our family alone having some peaceful
time because we can't evade people's contact through our phones. Second, people
these days are so addicted to smart phones that they are significantly
distracted by them.
To
begin with, it is almost impossible to have quiet and peaceful time alone or
just with our family because of the mobile phone. To be specific, we carry our
phone everywhere, which means other people can contact us whenever they want
and wherever we are. As a result, we are often hindered from some quiet alone
time. Let me bring up my personal story as an example. Last summer, I went on a
honeymoon to Hawaii. It was supposed to be a magical and fantastic time for us.
However, one call from my workplace
ruined everything. I couldn't turn off my phone because I had to contact
the guide. Sadly, an emergency happened in my
corporate and thus, I got an
unwanted call. I had to work using my laptop and thus, I couldn't spend much
time with my wife. Freedom was denied by my mobile phone that I can never say
it makes us more free.
On
top of that, nowadays, people are so obsessed with smart phones that they are
often distracted by them. To elaborate, people often fail to do what they have
to do or they aim to do because of the addiction to smart phones. A research
was done by Seoul National University in 2018 about the addiction on
smartphones. 300 participants answered deliberately designed surveys concerning
usage of mobile phone. The result was intriguing. The average time they use
smartphone a day was 5 hours. What is more interesting is that more than 80
percent of the respondents reported that they have hard time doing their task
in time due to the distraction caused by smartphones. This clearly shows cell
phones interrupts rather than free our lives.
To
sum up, mobile phones prevents us from having alone time or quality time by
ourselves or with family. Also, it distracts our daily life because it is so
addictive. In this regard, I believe that mobile phones actually deprive us of
our freedom.
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세 번째 써본 독립형입니다. 첨삭부탁드립니다. 감사합니다!!