Some people think that rendering libraries better is a more important task than sports. However, I disagree with that opinion. This is because students could promote their physical health, and relieve stress by exercising.
To begin with, since university students tend to live almost every day sitting in a class, library, or cafe, they are unhealthy. This sedentary life could affect not only their university life but also a whole.(Sounds bit awkward) However, students’ body statements can be changed by playing sports. My friend experienced this with his body. When he was in university, his body weighed over 100kg with 170 height. Even the doctor warned him to exercise or else he will have a serious illness. However, as soon as he participated in a tennis club and exercised every day in the court, his body status got much better. This example shows how sports could benefit students.
On top of that, the fact that sports relieve students’ stress obtained in class or study can be a strong reason why the university should investigate money on sports. Emanating their stress by exercising could also affect their performance on tests. For instance, when I was in high school, I had low grades even though I studied hard to gain a better result. However, as I started swimming 3 days a week, my score soared since swimming made me concentrate on class more effectively by relieving stress and blown the academic burden that I had.
To sum up, sports improve students’ health and help students to resolve their stress, making them focus on their tasks more efficiently. In this regard, I firmly believe that universities should enhance the amount of money spending on sports as they do on libraries.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence |
점수 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 |
Score | Fair 18-23 |
- 에세이는 축약어보다는 상세하게 풀어서 쓰시는 것이 좋습니다.
- 운동의 좋은 점과 더불어 '학교의 지원'이 담긴 메시지가 내용 안에서도 드러나있어야 합니다. - 두 가지 제시된 핵심주장모두 stress/health 비슷한 이유로써 다른 관점에서 서술해보는 것도 중요합니다. - 각 단락의 이유는 다소 짧은 편입니다. 예를 충분히 제시하여 주세요.
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