In a modern society, people are always busy. As if chased by something or somebody, many hurry to do their works ceaselessly and be preoccupied with complicated and annoying tasks in their office. However, in my opinion, people need to try to spend time with their family than to keep working hard.
First and foremost, career and work are just tools for a good living. Why do people get a job? To earn money. Then, (컴마가 있으면 더 자연스럽습니다) why do people earn money? It is because of their family. Using money, people do many things with their family. They buy a nice and spacious house where their family can live. They also have an enjoyable time doing fun things with their family. Sometimes they pay tuition for their children. Like this, all demands for money are connected to their family’s living. Hence, it (대소문자 구분) is evident that earning money would be useless without family to spend it for. We should keep in mind that working is just a device and living well with family is an object for it.
On top of that, being with family provides people with huge comfort and satisfaction. When coming back home, people can take a real rest with their family members. For instance, I am (줄임말 사용을 지양해주세요) now working at a consulting firm and rarely have a free time during weekdays. On Friday, however, I just put down all the annoying documents on my table and run to my home as soon as possible, where my parents wait for me. Staying at home with my family gives me tremendous happiness and a deep relief. I can work hard again after having time with my family on weekend. If I were not able to have some time with my mother and father and kept working on weekend, I would have been frustrated so much that I could not concentrate on my work at all.
Last but not least, family is one of the most valuable things (one of the + 복수명사 형태입니다.) in our lifetime. While you can change your job anytime, you can never change your family. Here is a story of my uncle. He was a very intelligent lawyer who earned a lot of money. However, he was too busy to care about his family. He never attended his daughter’s important moments, such as her first picnic at school, college entrance and graduation. He did not know how she felt and thought. Then she committed a suicide out of thin air. Until her death, he did not know that she had gone through a severe mental illness. Sobbing in front of her dead body, he recognized how he was emotionally irresponsible for his family and regretted it. After that event, he quitted his fancy job at a law firm and now works less and spends time with his family.
In conclusion, people should be together with their family even if they are very busy at work. Adequate amount of working helps us to live happy with our family, but it cannot be an aim of our lives. Family is more salient, since it gives us endless emotional stability and can neither be exchanged with other things nor abandoned.
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1. 내용상 두 번째 바디와 세 번째 바디를
합치셔도 괜찮을 것 같습니다.
comfort and satisfaction이 연결고리가 될 것 같습니다.