First of all, making their own decisions enables children to gain new experience. In detail, if their parents determine their all decisions, they can’t get their experience cannot attain own experience (에세이 형태에서는 줄인 말을 서술하면 안됩니다). children attain wider knowledge and broad perspective through experience. Children will always learn something from their experience, even if it seems unenjoyable or difficult. Take Warren Buffett, for instance. He is a globally recognized CEO and an investor. Listed among Time’s 100 most influential people, Buffett mentioned in an interview that acquiring diverse experience shaped him into a successful business person. Such comment sounds highly convincing since he is a well-known man of success.
Second, children should make their own decisions because choosing something themselves accompanies an educational process. To be specific, making their own decisions creates opportunities to learn how to make decisions, which as a result allows children to attain personal growth. Children need to be educated throughout their lives because education is the most powerful weapon that they can use to change the world to change the world. For example, a survey was conducted by UCLA’s research department. The survey participants were asked if they agree with the idea that children should make their own decisions because choosing it themselves accompanies an educational process. The result showed that 79 percent of the participants answered that they are in favor of this idea. Further, their opinion was supported with logical reasons.
In addition, making their own decisions enables children to develop creativity. In detail, there are many types of decisions which stimulate imagination and inspire children. It is important to be creative and have innovative ideas to stand out in today’s competitive society. If their parents make their future, they can't improve their way to make the decision themselves. For example, Soule University studied making children decisions enables them to develop creativity. The result is that the many children can develop their creativity, who made their own decisions. Because this university has a high rank in the word, we can believe that this result. In conclusion, I strongly believe that children need to choose their own decisions.
All things considered, it is my belief that my argument regarding this topic has been effectively delivered with the reasons mentioned above. Never should we forget that this issue may have a huge impact on our future. 컴퓨터 사정상 이렇게 밖에 못쓰고 있습니다! 양해 부탁드려요~
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지금 이유를 세 가지를 두셨는데 독립형 에세이에서는 이유를 세 가지로 하는 것 보다는 두 가지 이유로 에세이를 서술하는 것이 좋을 거 같습니다. 이러한 이유는 세 가지 이유로 에세이를 서술하다 보면 전반적으로 에세이가 장황하게 되는 경향이 많습니다. 에세이가 장황하게 서술되다 보면 전반적으로 본질의 플로우가 방해 될 수 있기 때문에. 이 에세이 처럼 장황함을 방지하기 위해서는 이유를 두 가지로 하여서 간결하게 서술하는 것 이 좋을 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다.