■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
|
|
▶ Topic :cars will soon replace conventional automobiles. agree or disagree?? |
|
|
▶ Your Answer :
Nowadays, various technologies are developing for people’s better
life. Some people might agree with the statement that electric cars will soon
replace conventional automobiles. However, in my opinion, I do not think that
conventional automobiles will be replaced by electric car fors two reasons, which
I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, people tend to seek more for the experienced one than
brand-new one. In the present day, there are a lot more conventional automobile
than the car which are (수동태) operated with electricity so people are skilled to utilize
the normal car. Moreover, modern people do not have enough time to learn new
skill for such as electric car because many people finish their work at late
time. I will give my personal experience as an example of my opinion. When I asked my father which transportation between electric car and conventional automobile
is good for him, then he said it is conventional automobile. The reason why he chose
the car was that his work usually ended at over 10p.m. So he was always very
tired after working thus he did not feel the need of learning .
On top of that, people will not purchase the electric car a lot due
to the high price. As I mentioned above, demand of conventional automobile is
much higher than the car with electricity. To increase the production of the
electric car, people use a myriad of money. But, customers (주어 동사 일치) think that the both
electric and conventional automobile car has the function of transportation. Therefore,
customer would not buy the electric car because the conventional car is less
expensive but has the same data. For instance, all my relatives purchased a
general TV after considering which is better between TV and 3D TV. This
is because, the price of 3D TV was much higher than general TV even they had
similar function as television. (general 보다는 ordinary가 더 잘 어울리는 단어인 것 같습니다.)
To sum up, people find experienced one, not new object. In addition,
the electric car will not be consumed by many buyers owing to its high cost. In
this regard, I firmly believe that that electric cars will not soon replace
conventional automobiles.
|
|
점수: 14/30
1. 철자 오류가 굉장히 잦은 편입니다. 단어 숙지를 꼼꼼히 해주시고,
에세이 작성을 마친 뒤 검토를 통해서 한 번 더 철자 오류를 걸러내주세요.
2. 문법이 조금 많이 흐트러져 있습니다. 지금은 에세이를 쓰시기 보다는
문장 하나 하나를 정확하게, 문법 틀린 곳 없이 쓰시는 연습을 하시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
가장 기본적인 부분들이 안 되어 있어서 문장력이 많이 떨어집니다.
3. conclusion 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요!
4. topic이 cars will soon be replaced by conventional mobiles로 고쳐져야 할 것 같습니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*