■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic :
Do
you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People
benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign
countries.
Use
specific reasons examples to support your answer.
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▶ Your Answer :
For most people, traveling can play
important roles in their lives. As far as I am concerned, there are many
opinions regarding drawbacks of traveling to foreign countries, especially, It would be dangerous if he or she travels alone. With that being said, I would
have to say that traveling to different countries is better and a concept of
various experiences clearly illustrates this.
: First of all, people can experience a
variety of parts, which cannot be experienced by traveling in their own
country. By traveling to other countries, we can feel and learn each country’s
culture. In addition, we also can have new insights by communicating in (전치사) other
countries’ languages. Through this, they can acquire various and different
perspectives that they can see the world with (전치사). These benefits are difficult to be obtained
by traveling domestically. To be specific, a
really good example is one of my friends' (소유격), Brandon. He was born in my country,
Korea, (컴마를 통해 설명하고 있기 때문에 컴마를 한 번 더 씁니다. ", Korea,"를 빼도 문장이 성립 가능하게끔 만드는 것이 그 목적입니다.) and it was his first time he has visited to America when he was in
university. When he arrived at the U.S., he got shocked due to the difference
of culture between Korea and the U.S. This
is because the way they eat and the way they act are totally different from his
country. For example, in his country, people usually deliver their message
indirectly. On the other hand, in America, they deliver their emotions and
messages much more directly than the people in his country. However, he tried
to get used to this circumstance and also tried to communicate with local people
in English even though he was not good at speaking English and felt awkward. Not
fully, but he realized that he was able to understand the American culture a
little bit. Finally, he made several friends from the
U.S. before he came back to his country. Moreover, after he got back to
Korea, he recommended that I travel abroad
because the world is really huge and there is so much to learn.
: Instances of the same sort can be
multiplied indefinitely. When taking into account these examples, facing
people, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that traveling other countries
has more benefits. Although I admit that there may be some people who think
that traveling in their own country is much better, I strongly believe that no
one can ignore the various experiences when it comes to traveling to other
countries.
P.S
2. 국내여행 많이 배울게 없다. à 왜냐하면 새로운 것이 없기 때문이다à 예시 :In my case, 내가 살고있는 Country, Korea로 예시
들기 (생각보다 많이 볼게 없다.) : 바디를 하나 더 쓴다면, 이런 식으로써도 논리적일까요? (오프토픽을 피할 수 있을까요?)
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점수: 24/30
1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. 문법은 전치사 사용하실 때 특별히 주의해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
특히 문장의 가장 끝에 오는 전치사는 빠뜨리기 쉬우니 검토를 꼼꼼히 해주세요.
그 외에 딱히 지적할 문법은 없습니다.
3. 두 번째 바디 문단이 빠져 있습니다.
서론 - 본론 1 - 본론 2 - 결론 구조를 잘 지켜주세요!
4. 질문해주신 부분) 충분히 논리적일 것으로 생각됩니다.
어릴 때부터 살던 나라라 구석구석 많이 여행해보았고 등등
이런 이유를 쓰시면 좋을 것 같아요.