■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : In the modern world, we should never be impolite to another person. Agree or Disagree? |
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▶ Your Answer : Someone thinks that people can be impolite to another person. However, in my opinion, people should be polite in this world. One reason is people are important. As I said before, being polite to everyone is important for humanitarian reasons and being successful (품사). The meaning of success has completely shifted compared to the past. If it was merely about one's own way and excelling others, now it is different. Along with one's abilities, it is crucial to be recognized by others and have followers. In this sense, being a polite person can be helpful for your success. Frankly, this issue is like a double-edged sword. I do admit that sometimes it is really hard to be a kind person, if someone acts badly. Also It is true that you may be hurt by those people so you should protect yourself. However, I believe that advantages of being polite are far outweigh the advantages of being impolite because those people are scarce and sometimes enduring is winning especially in a business field. For example, in my older sister's company there are two salary men (단복수). One is a competent man but quite hysteric and another man is not a notable person but polite to his boss and juniors. They are at the same position so they competed for promotion. While listening to my sister's (소유격) story, I expected the competent man would to be promoted because he led big projects to succeed. However, the one who was promoted was the polite man. Since he got a high grade at boss and peer evaluation, they considered the first guy as a good business man but not a good partner. To sum up, being polite is crucial in itself and can be helpful for success. For this reason, I firmly believe that people should never be impolite to people. |
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점수: 13/30
1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. 철자 오류가 많이 잦은 편입니다. (파란색 부분)
감점의 요인이 되니 반드시 에세이 작성을 마치시고 꼼꼼한 검토를 통해
철자 오류를 고쳐주세요!
3. introduction & conclusion의 분량을 각각 3문장 이상으로 맞춰주세요.
(특히 intro 연습이 많이 필요해 보입니다.)
4. 문법에서는 a, the와 같은 관사와 문장의 성분 (품사)를 주의해주세요.
관사로서 대상을 구별할 수 있기 때문에 올바른 관사를 써주셔야 합니다.
the가 와야할 자리에 a가 오면 해석에 혼란이 생깁니다!
5. 토플 에세이의 기본적인 구조는 서론 - 본론 1 - 본론 2 - 결론입니다.
지금 본론 2가 빠져 있는 걸 확인하실 수 있습니다.
합리적인 이유 하나를 더 생각하셔서
본론 2를 만들어 주시면 좋을 것 같아요!
수고하셨습니다. *^^*