▶ Your Answer : Adults always advise students on keeping
their room organized and neat. The opinion about this advice can vary depending
on individual perspective. However, since I was a student, I absolutely agreed
with this advice. I would confess that clean room condition can help student
success their purposes in terms of two reasons, which I will illustrate in the
following essay. for the following two subsequent reasons.
One of the most important grounds for
my contention is that organized room can make students save their time to find
something, such as documents, books, and pens. To begin with, students can save time finding goods to study. If their desks or book shelves
are messy, they have to waste their time to find stuffs which they need. Thus,
students who didn’t who did not (독립형 에세이에서는 줄인말을 서술하면 안됩니다) clean their room cannot use such times to do something they
have to do. As a result, they have to achieve less percent of planned purpose.
For example, my friend Jessie used her room and desk messy. She always spent
too much time to find books that she had to use to study. Consequentially, she
massed up her midterm exam. After this exam, she cleaned up her room and tried
to save time to find something. As a result, she successively made a good score
at the final exam. Therefore, I think organized room condition can make student
accomplish their goals.
One more rational reason for my contention
is that neat room condition can help students focus on their works. Furthermore, under neat room, students can focus well If room
condition, especially desk is messy, students easily turn their attention to
other things. They have to separate out resting space from studying place.
However, if their rooms are messy, there is no separation between them. Objects
which served as enjoying and resting such as toys and novels can be temptation
when students have to concentrate their works. I have a personal experience can
support this opinion. Since I was elementary school student, I always kept my
desk organized and neat. Thus, I always finished my homework earlier than other
students and got great scores. I think it was possible thanks to neat room and
desk condition. Thus, I think students have to make their room organized and
neat to be successful.
In a nutshell, I agree with the
statement because clean room condition can make student save their time to find
something they need and help to concentrate their works. For these reasons, I
firmly claim that students who makes their room organized and neat can be
successful than other students who keep their room messy.
점수: 27 지적할 부분이 없는 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것은 설득력 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우에 있어서는 설득력 부분에 있어서는 완벽히 숙지가 되어있는 에세이입니다. 각 단락의 구체적 설명을 통하여서 왜 깔끔한 방이 좋은지를 잘 설명하고 잇습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |