▶ Your Answer :
With the development of the mass media, celebrates get a big interest from ordinary people. Some people think those famous entertainers and athletes have to open their lives to people because of the right to know of the public. However, I disagree with the statement. Because privacy is the most important value of human and celebrates would be exhausted without having privacy. for the following two subsequent reasons.
As we all know, privacy is a precious value. To begin with, privacy should be prioritized. It is much more valued than the right to know of the public. These days, however, the technology of the camera and the speed of transporting information have advanced a lot and it makes people are easy to intrude the privacy of celebrates. For example, a few decades ago, the privates of celebrates were not easy to spread to the public. There was a lot of rumor of celebrates but there was no evidence so people did not care about those things. However, with the cell phone, people take pictures of celebrates easily and share video clips and pictures through social networks. Celebrates must be stressful of this happening now.
On top of that, intruding privacy makes them not concentrate on their main work. The reason for exists of entertainers and athletes is giving pleasure to the public. However, they are exhausted of invasion of privacy and cannot maintain good condition. What makes it worse is the fact that some celebrates who suffered from the invasion of privacy a made terrible decision can make a terrible decision. For example, K who was a famous actress had a problem of stalking. One of her fans extremely followed her way and it made her stressful. Eventually, she killed herself and this news makes people sad. This event demonstrates the invasion of privacy makes the worst result.
To sum up, the development of technology invades the privacy of celebrates which is the crucial value of a person, and celebrates can be affected by the invasion of privacy. In this regard, I firmly believe that famous entertainers and athletes have more privacy than now.
점수: 26 지적할 부분이 없는 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것은 설득력 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우는 설득력 부분에 있어서 완벽히 숙지가 되어있는 독립형 에세이입니다. 각 단락의 구체적 설명들을 통하여서 왜 유명인사들이 요즘 자신의 개인 정보들이 침해가 되어있는 지를 잘 설명하고 있습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |