▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, types of friends play a significant role in people’s daily lives in many of the places where people work or play. Some people think that one can not learn a lot about a person from the type of friends that he or she has, while others do not. think differently. Both sides may have some reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that it is possible to know about a lot of a person by the type of their friends. There are several reasons as follows. for the following two subsequent reasons. To begin with, when people know someone’s friends, we can understand the character of one person. people can understand other's characteristic. People tend to make a relationship with someone who has a similar personality to oneself. When people observe the behavior or habits of someone‘s friends, it will help them learn many of their personal traits. For example, when I was eight years old, I joined English studying club in my neighborhood and I met one of studying members from Ethiopia eating his meal with his bare hand. I felt uncomfortable because this is my first time seeing someone like that and I do not considered him to get cultural benefits. However, my stereotypes about him have changed after I played soccer with his friends last year. In fact, he was enjoyable to play football games, to watching league, and to even visit the football stadium with his friends. I realized that I just had prejudices to him. Actually, we had a lot in common in a way that we all cared about our family and friends, were committed friends, and got hurt easily from what others say. I no longer feel awkward and can make friends with him. If I had not known with his friends, I would not have been able to learn about him. In addition, a characteristic of people can determinate by types of their friends. Continuous exposure to someone can affect personal habits. This exposure is helpful to understand others. For Instance, Jane, one of my younger sisters, did poorly in her high school. She got distracted easily, procrastinated, and acted on impulse. Also, she was lazy, selfish, and passive in classes. Fortunately, she was able to deal with her negative habits by spending time with her seniors who were excellent in their classes. She was able to arrive at her school early, to complete her assignments, and to obtain advice from her seniors. She felt that she more get along with her outstanding seniors, her behavior more improve. She was eventually able to excel all throughout university school and received straight A’s in her classes. In this sense, it is possible to guess traits through their friends or seniors. In short, I strongly believe that it is possible to judge a person simply by the types of friends they have for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of having a friend from a similar background cannot be overestimated in life.
점수: 22 두 가지 부분에 있어서 오류가 있는 독립형 에세이입니다. 첫 번째는 전체적으로 에세이가 너무 장황합니다. 에세이가 너무 장황하다 보니 본레 자기가 전달하려고 했던 의미들이 변질이 되는 거 같습니다. 본인의 의미가 변질되면 에세이가 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인지 모르기 때문에 좀 더 간결하게 서술하시길 바랍니다. 또한 각 단락의 예시들이 주제를 벗어났습니다. 예시를 서술할 때 이유를 잘 서포트 하는 지를 숙지하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
|