■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : Some people think that parents should take care of their young children. Others believe that their eldest should take care of young children. Which option do you agree with? |
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▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that the eldest one in a family should take care of young children. However, in my opinion, I strongly believe that their parents should take care of their young children. To begin with, the parents have a responsibility and duty to take care of their children. To be specific, any other people cannot replace their roles. Suppose that the parents do not take care of their children. Would it be possible that the children get proper education? It would be highly doubtful. The only way to teach and take care of children is the parents' concerns about their children. Moreover, there was a study conducted by a group of Child Education majors in Korea University to determine the learning performance of children when they are under the care of their parents. The result showed that the children who get more care by their parents well performed than those who were not given care from their parents. This result indicates that the significant role of parents for their children. Second, the parents can only continuously sustain their education philosophy for children. The parents have their own thought for education. On the other hand, other people cannot fully think about their notion. Thus, taking care by parents would be highly effective than any other methods. Imagine that the eldest take care of young children. Would it be easier to pass on intellectual thoughts to children? The answer would be “No”. Since parents lived longer than the eldest, they can pass on wiser thoughts to their children. Lastly, the parents can handle critical moments. Since they have lived much longer than any other family members, they perfectly suit for this role and they are sufficient to cope with those situations. Thus, taking care of children by parents can get more advantages in children’s safety. To sum up, the role and responsibility of parents and their education philosophy is quite vital part for children’s life. In this regard, I firmly hold that the parents should take care of their young children. |
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항상 고생하십니다.
30분 동안 재고 하다보니 2, 3번 바디가 좀 빈약하네요..
첨삭과 함께 점수도 같이 부여해주시면 감사하겠습니다.