■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : children should have art and music as mandatory school subjects along with math, history, science, and language. agree/disagree |
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▶ Your Answer :Some people think that school should not require children to take art and music classes as mandatory since these subjects are not helpful for their future. However, in my opinion, children should learn art and music along with academic subjects, such as math, science, history, and language, for the following reasons. To begin with, studying art and music allows students to get a job in the future. Students learn these subjects from professional teachers. During the classes, the teachers can find some students who have special artistic talent, and the teacher could encourage them to develop their skill. Eventually, they become a specialist in artistic field. For example, when my sister was in middle school, she took a music class and it was the first time to learn about music in her life. At the end of the semester, the music teacher asked her to learn about writing song because she had a great ability of composing. Thus, she started studying composing and finally she got the excellence award at Composing Contest in Korea. And she went to college majoring in composing. If she did not have music class in middle school, she would have never known about her talent. On top of that, learning art and music plays a significant role in relieving students’ stress. The art and music class consist of various activities, such as painting, making statue, singing and playing instrument. These activities can actually serve as a safety valve to let off some steam as well as a fun way to recharge energy. As a rule of thumb, for instance, when I was high school student, I had tons of stress about Korean SAT. All classes made me more down. (upset. depressed가 더 자연스러울 것 같습니다) However, music class was the only stress-free class. During the music class, I played Jang-gu, Korean traditional drum. After the class, I felt good and I was able to study more efficiently ever than before. To sum up, art and music class will help some students to find their career, and it allows students to forget about their academic stress. In this regard, students should have art and music as mandatory school subjects like academic subjects. |
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1. and으로 문장을 시작하지 말아주세요.
informal 해 보일 수 있습니다. moreover 등을 사용해주세요.
2. 문법은 대체적으로 깔끔한 편입니다.
이유 두 가지도 잘 작성하신 것 같습니다.
3. 첫 번째 바디에서 composing이라는 단어가 너무 자주 반복됩니다.
동어 반복을 최대한 회피해주세요.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*