■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : Young people today are less dependent on their parents compared to the past. AG / DIS |
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▶ Your Answer : Some people say that people still maintain a dependent relationship with their parents. However, in my opinion, people are living a more independent life compared to the past. These are due to the change of common values in modern society, and of the different lifestyle from the past. Nowadays many parents tend to respect their children's own opinion compared to the past. This is because of the change of family structure. In the old days, many generations were living in one household and this reinforced the patriarchal air in the family. People had to follow their house head's decision, which was likely to be the grandfather's or the father's. In this kind of surroundings it was natural for the children to not have their own opinions, which leads to the dependency on their parents. For instance, I will give you an example of my uncle. My uncle is a lawyer and he always seemed to be enjoying his life and happy with what he got. He is happily married husband and a father, and made people around him laugh all the time. He was like a role model to me. One day when I was struggling with my future plan, I asked my uncle what made him to become a lawyer. (의문문일 필요 없습니다.) He said that his father did. made him to. I was very shocked at that moment because that kind of reason is not comprehensible to my generation. It was more surprising because he had such ideal life in my eyes, and it (대소문자 구분) was hard to believe that the crucial part that made his life now is based on his father's decision. On the other hand, after the struggle, I became a musician because music was what I was good at and passionate about. To sum up, young people today are living more independently due to the different family environment in modern society. In this regard I firmly believe that young people in modern days live much likely based on their own opinions and thoughts rather than their parents'. |
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1. make는 사역동사이기 때문에 뒤에 to부정사가 아닌 동사원형이 옵니다.
2. 철자 오류가 잦은 편입니다. 심한 감점의 요인이 될 수 있으니, 에세이 작성을 마치시고 꼼꼼히 검토해주세요.
+) 단어를 외우실 때 스펠링을 집중적으로 외워주세요.
3. 토플 에세이의 기본적인 구성은 서론 - 본론 1 - 본론 2 - 결론입니다.
그런데 지금 본론 2가 빠져있는 것을 확인하실 수 있습니다.
다른 reason 하나를 더 써주시면 구조상으로 더 보기 좋은 에세이가 될 듯합니다.
4. 첫 번째 바디에서는 그냥 세대 차이가 어떻게 나는지 설명하신 것 밖에 없습니다.
여기서 필요한 것은 왜 그 차이가 나는지에 대한 이유입니다.
경제의 변화일 수도 있고 정치적 이유일수도 있습니다.
합리적인 이유를 제시해주시기 바랍니다. 상황 설명은 topic에서 이미 다 되고 있다는 걸 기억해주세요.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*