■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : Low salary secure job VS High salary risky job |
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▶ Your Answer :
Some people say that they even though a job is risky, if they are going to get paid a lot, they would take it since they think a quantity of the money that they make a month is the most significant thing in capitalist societies. However, I strongly believe that jobs should now be something that takes risks. There is one major reason that jobs have to be safe. To begin with, I personally think that a job is a method for people to make their lives better. If they get hurt physically or cannot make enough money to spend on the things that they regularly have to, they will not be able to keep their livings great. At this point, some people might think that people who have a higher salary job can save their money for financial emergencies which low-salary-people cannot overcome but that is not true because people who make more money spend as much as they make. Suppose that there is a woman who makes 10,000 dollars a month but always has to worry about getting injured. Would it be possible to say that she has a stable living? The answer would be no. People should remember that even if they do not get paid a lot, to live their lives better they have to get a safe job and keep themselves healthy. For example, my older sister used to work at a big art museum which many people want to work for. The art museum paid her a lot of money but she had to be restless all the time because she was not sure if the art museum wants to work with her more than a month, and also she had to go to work whenever they want her to be there. She could not stay healthy physically and mentally because she could barely sleep at night and got stressed out. Therefore, she drunk a lot to relieve stress. In addition, she ended up getting fired in about a month. However, after she got a new job which does not pay her a lot but has certain security, she could recover and stay happy. She even learned how to manage her money. To sum up, to live a better life, when people are looking for a job, they should not only think about a salary but think about how secure it is. In this regard, I firmly hold that people should have a secure job. |
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. 문단도 두개고 예시도 두개이지만
주장하는 바 즉 이유는 하나 뿐입니다.
인생을 더 좋게 만들 수 있다 라는 이유를 제외한
다른 한 가지의 합리적인 이유를 더 제시해주세요.
3. introduction의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
4. 문법은 매우 깔끔합니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*