■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : Cars have made a greater impact on society than airplanes. |
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▶ Your Answer :
There is a debate over cars and airplanes that “What (대소문자 구분) has made a bigger impact on society?”. In my opinion, cars are absolutely made modern society (부사나 형용사가 없습니다) in terms of their volume of impacts and their closeness to real life. First, if we measure the impact of society by the number of subjects being impacted, cars are overwhelming airplanes. For instance, there are more than 20 million cars are on the roads of South Korea while annual airplane passengers are only 2 millions. If we specify the scope in to the passengers using aircraft for their daily life, 2 millions will shrink to (전치사) less than thousands. That means, cars were accessible to vast majority of normal households and changed their lives while airplanes remained the mobility of few people. Second, by observing the land we live after the birth of new mobility, we can find another reason that cars have made a greater impact. Human society made roads and highways along the towns and cities they live to make the use of cars while airports for airplanes are located in isolated areas. This fact means a lot in terms of social impact. For example, along the roads for cars, we made new stores and houses. And these stores and houses became the ground of many households and changed their daily lives. However, the airport was like an island. By restricted accessibility and its isolated location, it did not change many lives after it was built. To conclude, by seeing the impact on society as the number of subject being impacted and the influence of mobility to our land, it (대소문자 구분) is easy to reach the conclusion that cars made a bigger impact (철자오류) on society.
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
3. 문장 성분이 겹치는 경우가 너무 많습니다.
동사가 나왔는데 또 동사가 나왔다든지, etc
이러한 오류를 막기 위해서 문장을 최대한 간결하게 작성해주세요.
4. introduction의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*