■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : Spending time with family is more important than being at work. |
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▶ Your Answer :
It is questionable which is more important, spending time with
family or being at work. I think getting along with family is more important
than working hard. The reason why I think like this is it allows you to build a
preferable relationship with your family members and being with your family is
more enjoyable.
To begin with, if you spend
more time with your family, you can develop good bonds between family members.
It is important in your life to be in a certain group, which you can rely on.
Especially, if your children are young, to be (to 부정사는 동사 원형이 옵니다) with family must come into
first place. The time when your children are young is a crucial period to build
affection. For example, my uncle spent a lot of time with his daughter when she was (시제: 과거시제 입니다) young. Although he did not have much time because of his hard-working, he
always tried to make time to play and get along with his daughter.
Consequently, my uncle and his daughter have a good relationship after she grew
older.
On top of that, hanging out with family is more enjoyable than to
work. Family time gives you fun, relaxing breaks and relieve your stress by
interacting with them. Workers these days are stressed out with their everyday
works and interacting with family members can be a cure for that. For example,
the national statistics department surveyed workers’ stresses in the workplace
and how they manage them. The result showed that one-fifth of respondents (철자오류) escape
from stress by spending time with their families. And those who interact with
their family showed lower stress levels than those who are not. These indicate
that it is desirable to spend time with your family to relieve the stress from
works.
To sum up, spending time with your family provides you with the
opportunity to develop a good relationship with your family members and it
gives you more enjoyable experiences. The roles of the family are still
important in modern days. In this regard, I agree with the statement that
spending time with family is more important than being at work.
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1. and으로 문장을 시작하지 말아주세요.
2. 두 번째 문단 예시에서
가족과 함께 할 수 있는 액티비티에는 어떤 것들이 있는지
구체적으로 설명해주세요. hangout의 예시) 피크닉, 영화 등
3. 첫 번째 예시에서도 마찬가지로
삼촌이 딸과 어떠한 활동을 했는지
자세하게 설명해주시면 내용이 더욱 풍성해질 것 같습니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*