■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : some people like to
keep records or experience by exposing photos on social networking sites. Others
do not like to upload such records. Which do you prefer? |
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▶ Your Answer :
It is always difficult to fathom what others think, but my
opinion in regard to the given topic is adamant. I prefer to keep records or
experience by exposing photos on social networking sites for the following
reasons.
Above all, I prefer to share private experience with others
on social networking sites since I believe that revealing myself to public can result
in outstanding effectiveness in having interaction and making friends. Unlike
the past, modern society admittedly requires people who surpass others both in specialty
and sociability. To be more specific, it is essential for people to learn how
to integrate well with others and maintain strong relationships. Therefore,
given the need for collaboration in any places today, having communication with
others by using social network is clearly more vital in building a more
promising future because it provides people with the perfect opportunities to express
and accept different each life and thoughts. Therefore, I think it is better to
use social networking sites to save the moments of life and comment each other.
Moreover, I can find emotional relief by tracing back the
experience and remind the happiest moments because it is effective for boosting
my moods. Today, including myself, many people are weary with too much stress. By
posting photos or thoughts, however, we can temporarily forget about our
problems and gain some breathing space. In this respect, sharing records can be
a great means of invigorating our minds. My personal experience can be
illustrated to prove this point. Every morning, I have to get through traffic
congestion to go to school and read countless texts. To make matters worse, I get
exhausted coping with other people. Hence, as a way to let go of my stress, I often
post my photos and leave comments with my friends on online. Even if it is only
a short period of time, my feelings become relaxed, and I can escape from the
demanding requests from school. indeed, during this period of enjoyment, I am
able to alleviate tension and better prepare myself for the upcoming days. Therefore,
I think I enjoy uploading (enjoy + V-ing 형태입니다.) private records.
As explicitly and logically elaborated above, I prefer to upload
the records and experience on social networking sites (어딘지를 말씀해주셔야 합니다), firmly believing that sharing private photos and
thoughts will benefit myself more in the long run. |
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
3. 동사 remind는 주로 be reminded of something ~ 형태로 씁니다.
거의 항상 이렇게 쓰니, 참고해주세요!
4. introduction의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
5. 이유 두 가지는 잘 선정하신 것 같습니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*