■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : Movies tell a lot about a country.
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▶ Your Answer : It is debatable whether movies tell a lot about a country. This is an interesting question because concerning this issue can be different depending on the individual point of views. However, in (대소문자 구분) my opinion, I support the idea that movies tell us many things about that country for the following reason.
First of all, movies can be tools that we can easily get information from (전치사) about that country without waste of (전치사) time. Nowadays, nobody wastes time traveling for getting knowledge. If you waste time traveling, will time wait for you? the answer will be no.(Going abroad to get knowledge is an old story!) In the world we live in, time is gold. Since we cannot turn time back, we should use media. For example, when I was in college, I always wanted to know about America. However, I was not able to afford buy ticket and time so I decided to watch (Decide + to 부정사 입니다) movie about America culture and I watched 'Book club' and 'Zoe'.Through this experience, I got much (information은 불가산 명사이기 때문에 many가 아닌 much 가 옵니다) information about America and it was almost American teenagers have cars and they get their (시제) license around 17-18 age also they can buy guns or bullet at common store. These intriguing facts are very fresh to me and it was opportunity to indirectly (품사 -> 부사) experience American (america와 american의 차이 숙지 필요) culture. All things considered, It is my belief that my argument regarding this topic has been effectively and precisely delivered with the reason mentioned above. |
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1. conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
2. 토플 에세이의 기본적인 구성은 서론 - 본론 1 - 본론 2 - 결론입니다.
그런데 지금 본론 2가 빠져있는 것을 확인하실 수 있습니다.
다른 reason 하나를 더 써주시면 구조상으로 더 보기 좋은 에세이가 될 듯합니다.
3. 사소한 문법 오류가 잦은 편입니다. proof-reading을 꼼꼼하게 해주세요.
문장 단위로 영작 연습을 꾸준하게 하시기 바랍니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*