■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : It is better to study alone than in a group |
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▶ Your Answer : Some people think that studying alone is
better than group work. However, I disagree with the idea that it is a better
way for students to study alone for the following two reasons. First, people
can improve their relationships. Second, people can strengthen sense of
responsibility
First of all, studying in a group is
helpful for relationships. What this means is that when students study with
others, they have to interact with each other. Then, by studying in a group,
they can spend time together and have fun. This creates chances for them to
have a conversation and exchange their thought, which is helpful for creating
memories of sharing a fun experience and broadening their way of thinking. According
to a survey done by JYP institute of technology, 80% of the respondent said
that studying in a group helps their relationships. This is due to the fact
that they are able to spend time and have fun together, which allows them to have
a conversation, create memories, and enlarging their perspectives. This clearly
shows that studying with other people is a good way to strengthen relationships
Second, team work
improves the sense of responsibility. To be specific, all group members are
aware that their performance affects the group, so all group members try to do
their best and work hard to get better results. Let me bring my personal story
as an example, a few years ago, some of my friends and I participated in a
competition which was related to optimization. Since there were a lot of things
to do, we divided the topics among each other. We did not have enough
information about one of the shared parts. However, a person who got that
subject made a lot of effort to learn the topic well. He attended online
courses and read books related to that field. Eventually, he accomplished a
great job. What I am trying to say is that in a group working, even if a person
does not have enough information related to his or her working area, he or she
may learn the things with his or her effort because he or she knows that a
mistake will cause negative outcomes.
In conclusion, studying in a group helps
people to improve not only their relationships and the sense of responsibility.
In this regard, I strongly insist that studying in a group is a better way for
students than doing alone. |
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
3. this is due to the fact that they are able to spend time and have fun together, which allows them to have a conversation, create memories, and enlarging their perspectives.
여기에서 구체적으로 어떤 추억들을 남기고 어떻게 관점을 넓히는가에 대한
부연설명이 필요해보입니다.
4. 문법은 굉장히 깔끔한 편입니다. 잘 쓰셨습니다 ^__^
수고하셨습니다. *^^*