■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. |
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▶ Your Answer :
The cars are one of the most valuable transportations in our society since they can not only make us move fast but also carry materials with high weights. However, the issue of how the number of cars is going to be like has been very important topic because of several issues including environmental problems. This essay will discuss about my opinion on whether cars' number will decrease. I believe that there will be fewer cars in use in the future than today. One of the main factor which makes this possible would be creation of new car owning structure: the sharing service. Since it is expensive to buy a new car and costly to fill with oil, some business models started try make (3 verbs?) people use cars together. they make people be able to use a car just during the time when they want to use it and giving back to the company. (문장이 너무 장황해서 이해가 힘듭니다. clear하게 써주세요) This models are showing that it is possible to use fewer cars together with lower price. Moreover, just like what is mentioned in the first paragraph, the issue of environmental pollution will be the most powerful reason for decrease of the cars. Since harmful gases like methane gas come out during one drives a car, most of people have expressed their worries about the planet we live in. For example, the problem of climate change which includes topic of air polution because of the cars is being emphasized more than ever. As discussions related to issues like this have been made so far, it is almost sure that there will be movement to reduce the car usage rate and save the earth. Of course, having a car can make our life easier. In othere perspective, however, it will be more reasonable to reduce the number of cars we use since it would be more economic and eco-friendly. Based on these reasons suggested above, it can be expected that there will be fewer cars in the future.
약간의 문장적인 오류들이 많이 보이는 편입니다. 봤을 때 해석이 힘든 부분도 있고, 문장의 의미를 알기 힘든 부분도 약간 있습니다. 전체적으로 proof reading 꼼꼼히 하시면 너무 좋을 거 같습니다. 어휘는 기본적인 어휘 위주로 많이 사용되고 있습니다. 조금 더 다양한 어휘 사용할 수 있도록 동의어 위주로 공부하시면 좋을 것 같습니다. |
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예상 점수도 함께 써주시면 감사하겠습니다..ㅠㅠ