▶ Your Answer :
It is debatable whether teenagers are more influenced by their
friends or by others. This is an intriguing question because this issue can be
different relying on individual perspectives. Some people might think that
their parents would affect their children because they mainly take care of
teenagers. However, I am in line with those who believe that teenagers are more
influenced by their friends than anyone else. Apparently, the reasons are
diversified and I would like to scrutinize some of its essentialities that are
mentioned here.
First of all, peer pressure would make them follow others as same.
Therefore, they want to mimic friends’ fashion or behaviors. For example, my
younger brother was in middle school, baggie pants were in fashion in his
school. Even though me and my mother prevented him not to wear it, from wearing it, he was eager
to put on that pants and went to the school. After that, he and his group
friends all wore these pants and got along with them. Through this experience,
teenagers have a passion to look similar to their group friends, and even their
family do not stop it. As a result, I would realize that teenagers are
susceptible to be affected with their friend.
On top of that, young people spend their most of the time with
their friends. To be specific, when they study in group, or play soccer game,
the friends are always needed. I believe that more have time with friends, more
affiliate with them. For instance, when I was in high school, I left home at
seven in the morning and got back to home at eleven in the night. During
school, we took many classes as well as we had a lot of group missions such as
presentation contests. Then, we had to share thoughts and ideas which as a result
allows them to broaden their perspectives and affiliate with them. When I
prepared for a global forum, and nothing happened to our mind, my friend was rolling
a pen in her hand. Then, I just would follow it. This is a simple example of my
high school days, but there were a lot of behaviors that were same as my friend.
Through this experience, I could know that they are easy to be influenced with
peers.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that the peer group influences the
most to the teenagers in their adolescent period. It is my belief that my
argument regarding this topic
has been efficiently and precisely delivered with the reasons mentioned above.
Never should we forget that this issue may have a huge impact on our future.
이해가 가지 않는 문장들이 정말 많습니다 문장을 잘 쓰시다가도 중간 중간에 문맥이 맞지 않거나 해석이 힘든 문장들이 너무 많이 보이는 편입니다. (에세이를 다 쓰고 나서 logic이 맞는지, 앞 뒤 문장이 이상한 거 없이 연결 되는지 확인하는거 중요합니다) 전체적으로 문법 오류 조금씩 보이는 편입니다. 특히 시제나 문장 부호 등인 문법 공부 복습 general하게 더 하시고 문장 쓰면 좋을 거 같습니다.
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