■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Universities should spend as much money on sports as they do on libraries. |
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▶ Your Answer :
Some
people think that universities have to spend more money on libraries than on
sports, while others do not. Both sides may have their own reasons to support
their views. If I have to choose one, I would say that universities should
invest as much money on sports as they do on libraries, because it can make
students more physically healthier (health의 비교급) which is most important in life and improves students' academic performances. To
begin with, if universities executed much of (전치사 핑료합니다) their fund on sports, it would make students physically healthier. The more sports activities, clubs, and
equipment (불가산명사입니다) students have, the more students can enjoy sports. This means that
students can develop their physical condition. (새로운 문장으로 시작해주세요) Especially health in their
twenties has (주어 동사 불일치) a great impact on their all life. For example, my brother had
gone through a (관사 필요합니다) hard time when he was a university student. He had spent all the
day studying to go to the high ranked university. As a result, he was
over-weighted, easily got tired, and had a various adult diseases. However,
fortunately he could join football club in the university. Afterwards he was
getting better body condition. Finally he could graduate the university with
great result. Without joining football club, he might not have graduated the
university. In
addition, universities' investment on sports can improve students' academic
performances. When students enjoy the sports, they can alleviate stress which
comes (주어 동사 불일치) from academic pressure. It means that they can make better results on
their academic performance. To be specific, Toyko university found a huge
difference between two groups of university students in their academic
performance. One group consisted of those who enjoyed the group sports such as
basketball, football, and so on. The other group was made up of those who
focused only on studying their majors without playing sports. The researchers found
that the former outperformed the latter by 15 percent in their academic projects.
In particular, the first group showed higher accuracy in their result and
completed the project faster than the second group.
In
a nutshell, if university put money into sports, it can make students healthier. Furthermore, it also allows students to bring better results in their
academic performance. In this regard, the importance of investing sports can
not be overestimated in campus. |
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1. 사소한 문법 오류가 잦은 편입니다. proof-reading을 꼼꼼하게
해주세요.
2. 이유 두 가지는 모두 합리적으로 잘 작성된 것 같습니다.
사례도 적절하게 잘 쓰였습니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*