▶ Your Answer : These days, many schools start to educate the
student about particular field and job. But, other people oppose with that
decision and say that the general education is the most important thing in the
high school and schools have to educate the student about the general subject.
However, I agree with the following statement that to learn the particular
field and job is more helpful to the students. And I will explain about my
assertion with a couple of reasons.First, by learning about the particular
field and job, students can find their future job. That’s because when they
learn about specific area they can experience that directly and think more
deeply than they think the job with their brain. So, to find the true interest,
I think to experience the job related their interest is most ideal way. If
student always study about general subject, they can’t search their interest
and they will have difficulty to find their way in the future
Second, if student learn about particular
field and job, they can improve themselves. Because, when they learn that they
will have hard time to adjust in that field and job. But, by the trial and
error, students can see their weakness and can enhance one’s skill while they
try to do better in the specific field. Some famous people say that fail is the
mother of the success. Like this statement, if they want to improve their
ability, the only way is to face the hard task and do that in their own effort.
If student study same things in the same places, they think same route, as a
result there are no chance to improve their potential abilities.
To summarize, I think learning particular
field and job is better way than learning general subject. And give two reasons
to explain my opinion. The first reason is that student can find their true
interest by learning about specific field and job. And the second reason is
that they can enhance their own skill by the trial and error. These are the two
reasons to support my assertion.
but으로 문장 시작하는 건 지양해주세요 동의어가 많으니 동의어 사용도 좋습니다. 어휘가 아주 기본적인 편입니다. 예상가능한 범주내에서 단어가 나오는 것 같습니다. 조금 더 다양한 어휘 자유자재로 쓸 수 있도록 공부하는 것이 좋습니다. 주장에 대한 supporting detail들이 조금 더 자세하고 설득력있게 나왔으면 좋겠어요. 조금 더 다방면으로 설명하는 것이 필요할 것 같아요 |