It is debatable whether people can benefit more from traveling in their country than traveling in foreign countries. This is an intriguing question because opinions concerning this issues can be different depending on people’s perspectives. In my opinion, However, I support that traveling in foreign countries are is more beneficial for people than traveling in their country for the following reasons.
To begin with, traveling in various countries can develop people’s career. This is because if people take a trip abroad and experience different cultures, they can develop cultural competence. (Explain it) In today’s highly competitive labor market, it is important to obtain such attributes. Therefore, taking a trip to diverse countries is necessary to meet the requirements of a good employee. For instance, my uncle, the human resource manager of a company, always tells me that a job interview is the most important part of the recruitment process. He says that the employers at the job interview primarily focus on the candidates’ positive attitude and cultural competence when hiring people. This means that traveling a wide range of countries is necessary in order to prepare for a more promising future.
In addition, journeying going on a journey to in foreign countries provides an opportunity to have a better social life. This is because if people take a trip to in different countries and meet taking to a various people from a wide range of cultures, they can expand their social network. As individualistic practices and values are increasing around the world, many people find it hard to build new relationships with others. Thus, it is important to improve social skills through traveling in other countries. For example, my sister Suzin experienced a similar situation before. journeying Traveling around diverse countries made her a sociable person. she used to be an introvert who barely talks to anyone around her. However, her personality completely changed when she started meeting foreigners and socializing with them. She initiated a conversation with others and even strangers. When I asked her how she did it, she told me that she became friends with a lot of people for traveling other countries. Therefore, in order to have a better social life, one should traveling overseas countries.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that journeying in visiting foreign countries are is helpful useful for people than traveling in their country. All things considered, it is my belief that my argument regarding this topic has been effectively and precisely delivered with the reasons mentioned above. Never should we forget that this issue may have a huge impact on our future (Why did you use this sentence?)
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence |
점수 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 |
Score | Fair 18-23 |
- cultural competence 에 대하여 상세히 설명해주세요.
- 두 번째 예시에서 cousin 이 어떻게 해서 다른사람과 social network를 발전시킬 수 있었는지 과정을 자세히 언급하여 주세요. - 불필요한 문장이 종종 보입니다. |