▶ Your Answer : The lecturer explains that sucralose isn't hazardous to human health for three reasons. First, it is very unlikely that sucralose causes diabetes. The lecturer claims the fact that sucralose causing insulin spikes doesn't mean anything. moreover, people who drink diet soda are often overweight. Since the main cause of diabetes is obesity, sucralose doesn't have anything (위에서 anything이 한 번 나왔으니 do not have connection/relationship이렇게 단어 바꿔 적어줘야 합니다) to do with diabetes. This contradicts the passage's argument that sucralose is the reason people get diabetes. Second, sucralose doesn't really release harmful substances when cooked. In the lab test, they didn't involve any real life cooking ingredients. Also, the scientists admitted that they heated the sucralose higher than normal cooking temperatures. This counters the reading passage's claim that sucralose gives off substances that damage human health if cooked. 여기 that절이 2개나 나오고 if도 나오네요. 조금 더 깔끔하게 문장 적으면 좋을 거 같습니다. (that절 너무 많이 나오면 그냥 중간에 끊고 새로 문장 시작하거나 다른 방향으로 적어줘야 합니다) Finally, the lecturer points out that there is no evidence of intense allergical reactions. Anecdotal data isn't reliable because people often imagine similar conditions because of stories in media. In addition, no tests have indicated severe allergy reactions because of sucralose. This refutes the reading passage's claim that sucralose causes extreme allergic responses.
대체적으로 어휘가 조금 아쉽습니다. 조금 더 다양하게 표현할 수 있었던 부분이 보이고 있습니다. 그리고 다른 사람들이 쓴 글 몇번 읽어보고 영작 연습 더 하면 좋을 거 같습니다. 약간 뜻을 모호하게/헷갈리게 적은 부분이 꽤 있습니다 |