▶ Your Answer : Some people might have thought that cars have made a greater impact on society than airplanes. However, in my opinion, airplanes have a greater impact than cars because they affected the economy more in travel industry and have had a more positive impact on the historical studies. To begin with, by airplanes, even there is a ocean between the continent, the plane industry has been one of the most important factors in the travel industry. 문장이 아닙니다. by airplane, 하고 주장이 나와야 하는데 안 나옵니다 To be specific, airplane industries have led to advancement of other realated industries, such as the tourism business, hotel, and etc. For example, nowadays, due to COVID-19, flight frequency has reduced all over the world and this made a great negative economic impact in Japan and even in Europe countries. specific하게 이 나라들을 선택한 이유가 있나요? 있다면 설명을 해줘야 합니다. This situation means that traveling to other contients or countries by airplanes is considerably important thing to economic. On top of that, through airplanes, the possibility to find ancient artifacts has rised than before. This is because compared to car, the airplane has less movement constraints and we could go continents to continents anytime. 모든 ancient artifact가 antarctic에서만 찾을 수 있는 건 아닙니다. antarctic을 주제로 얘기하고 싶었다면 주장 첫 문장에 그렇게 specific하게 적었어야 합니다. This is supported by a findings that was conducted in Antartic. Through airplanes, people could reach to Antartic safely than before and as a result, scientists could have found tree fossil or dinosour fossil in Antartic. Not only Antartic but also North pole and etc were able to be researchd and even those places have hazard climates and are hard to go by foot, people could reached those places safely due to the airplanes. That's why archeology and geology could be improved than before. To sum up, airplanes offer more positive economical effects in travel industry and they have rised high possibility to find unknown historical artifacts. In this regard, I believe that airplanes have more influence to society compared to cars.
우선 spelling오류가 있다는 것은 다 쓰고 나서 한번도 proof reading을 안 했다는 것과도 같은 뜻이라고 생각합니다. 무조건 필수라고 생각하고 해야 합니다. 그리고 약간 이해가 힘든 문장들이 많이 보입니다. 다 쓰고 이게 완성된 문장의 form인지 여러번 체크해야 합니다. 그리고 어휘의 과거형 모두 정확하게 외워야 합니다. rise의 과거형은 rose입니다. |