1. Describe a person you admireand explain why you admire him or her.
The person I admire is my mother who always supports me regardless of the situation. (어떠한 의미로 설명하고자 한 것인가요? 해당 내용은 "상황에 관계없이?"라는 뜻의 한국식 표현으로 보입니다, 내용을 보다 자세히 풀어서 언급해주셔야 합니다.) I will give an my example (or experience) to demonstrate this (point 등을 붙여주시면 좋겠네요.). When I was a middle school student, I once (Once를 사용한 이유는? 해당 내용과는 불필요한 것으로 보입니다.) had a really bad grade at the exam (어떤 시험이었나요? 예를 들면..?), so I was so depressed and worried that my parents would punish me because of that. (그저 that으로 짧게 언급하는 것이 아닌, because I got a poor grade on ~ exam 등으로 풀어서 언급하여 주세요.) As I expected, I was harshly rebuked (how?) for the terrible score by my father. However, my mother comforted and encouraged me that I could to do better on next exam time. Thanks to my mother’s support, I could get better scores than last time since the next exam, and finally graduated top of my class at the top of the school.
녹음은 안 하고 혹시 어색한 표현이 있는지 첨삭 부탁드립니다.