Many younger siblings are dependent on their older ones. Not only do they get
practical help, but they also identify themselves emotionally with their older siblings.
This was the case for me with my older sister. She was always there for me when
I needed consolation or advice, or anything else that I sought of her. So last year
when I realized that her going to college overseas meant our parting, I felt lost.
This turned out, in the end, to be a life-changing event for me to grow independent
and develop my own personality.
Before attending school, my world revolved around my sister. I was like a baby bird
waiting for mom to fly home and feed her. My mother took good care of me while
she was in school; however, my sister was the one to bring me all the interesting
stories. Contrary to general belief that children learn to become independent over
time, reliance on my sister grew even heavier as I entered my teenage years.
I would ask her to check my assignments before submitting them. I even started
mimicking her taste in music and movies. In fact, I followed almost everything she
did, both with and without my realization. When she started writing stories, I wrote.
When she drew comics, I also drew.
Her takeoff made me think about my life without her. On doing so, I realized how
similar I was to her. At the same time, I wondered why we shared so many things
in common. I began to question my preferences altogether. Did I really like them,
or was I just copying her? I also came to realize that whenever I faced trouble, I
expected her to give me solutions. As a result, I lacked the ability to deal with
situations by myself.
Given the circumstances, I believed that if she left me, I would not be able to make
it on my own. I cried on the apartment stairs the day after her departure, which was
also my first day in a new school. As a newcomer to school and without my sister
to comfort me, I had difficulty adapting to the new environment. The biggest problem
was making friends. I feared that they would hate me even with the smallest mistake
that I did not talk much. My classmates therefore misunderstood my behavior as
keeping distance from them, and they thought it was rude of me to do so. Usually,
in a situation like this, I would go to my sister to figure out what to do. However,
she was 6000 miles away, and the time difference made it difficult for me to call her
and ask for advice. So I was left to work this problem out by myself. After several
tries to befriend my classmates, I learned that I did not have to be perfect in order to
become friends with someone. Now my classmates are my best friends.
After this incident, everything else seemed a lot easier to conquer. I used to dread
failure, so I always turned to my sister for assistance. Thankfully, she was always there,
which let me succeed in a lot of areas. Yet, they were only half a success. Without her,
it was hard to face everything alone, but the outcomes were my own in its entirety.
Failure was not a threat anymore – it was just an experience.
Growing up, I did not have to struggle with problems about friends or school, because
my sister would always give me valuable advice. Thanks to her, I never hung out with
the wrong crowd and I always tried to become a hard working student. I gained
countless positive traits, all of which I cannot list down. However, my sister leaving
home for college pushed me to mature and find my own unique characteristics. Just in
a year, I learned so many precious life lessons through trial and error. Now that I am
strong enough to stand alone on my own two feet, I hope to make further steps into
the unknown and discover more about myself and the world.