In the reading passage, there is ample point to support the author's point that a manned mission to Mars goes along with severe issues. However, the professor in the lecture gives several points as a rebuttal to the author' suggestion.
First, the lecturer declares that sound technology can solve the problem caused by dust storms on Mars. If the sound machine emits certain sounds including high pitch, it works on the surface and blows away the micro dust particles. This casts doubt on the writer's assertion that dust covering Mars is so harmful for both machinery and human that travel to Mar is undesirable.
Second, the professor suggests
that an astronaut can take care of the psychological health crisis with various
means. The astronaut takes a large amount of mental training to avoid
loneliness on the lengthy travel. In addition, while traveling to Mars, it it
is possible for the astronaut to utilize
counselling programs such as a video therapies.
This disputes the author's point that the mental issue of the sole trip to Mars
is a lethal hardship to get over with.
Lastly,
the professor asserts that financial aids from other nations make a manned
mission to Mars possible. International partnership can be formed and the
financial lack of the missions is able to be covered by the collaboration from
the partnership. There is an precedent example of the astronomy voyage
which got aid from 15 different countries. The countries offer the financial
funds to the trip out of the earth since they will have benefit from a
technology advancement of the trip. This refutes the author's point that the
financial pressure of a manned Mars expedition is too serious to continue for a
single country.
Writing 0-30 Score Scale
Good (24-30)
Overall Comment:
매우 좋습니다! 글의 흐름도 좋고, 포인트도 잘 잡아주셨어요. 작은 문법 실수가 보이긴 하지만 조금만 더 노력하시면 고치실 수 있을 것 같습니다. 파이팅하세요!