▶ Your Answer : The consensus view seems to be that A lot of people agree on the statement that books have an effect on the society more than television has. However, in my opinion, people should place more emphasis on television than books. To begin with, by watching the television that reflected the society with their own eyes, television can use its visual aid to easily promote ideas people. to practice what they are attracted through television. Thereby, People can readily sympathize with others in the poor situation and be easily impressed by watching visual story delivered by television. than books can. It ends up putting people into action. Moreover, the most significant impact is that TV has a positive impact on the society by moving people's hearts. (같은 내용이 불필요하게 반복되었습니다) For example, in my case, when I was in a military service, I watched a UNICEF advertisement showing poor African children. At the time, other colleagues and I sympathized to their worst situations; they cannot gain any food, water, and clothes. So, all of the members including our executives were supposed to decided to sponsor them since everyone wanted them to live in a better quality of life. On the other hand, Imagine that If I have read the sad story in a book, I am not sure that I will be impressed in a same way.
On top of that, watching TV can be more efficient than just reading a textbook in terms of the academic acheivment. People can focus much easier on television since the content has abundant content that stimulates our sensory organs. dynamic and also visualized. Along with little efforts and time, People can easily learn what they want via television by focusing on auditory and visual content that television provides. In addition, everyone is aware that TV programs include a wide variety of programs such as a cooking, sports and an education and so on. In combination with diverse fields in television, it which can create a synergy effect resulting in augmenting the efficiency and finding their aptitudes(이유와 크게 관련 없는 내용입니다). For instance, a study was conducted by the Board of Education to determine whether visualized lectures could be more helpful to the academic efficiency than textbooks could. There were two groups monitored. The first group was formed of people who put more emphasis on watched the television education program in a math. The other group consisted of people studying math by using the textbook. They were asked to take tests to measure their level of school accomplishments. And then, the researchers compared outcomes and recorded that According to the result, the former group earned higher grade than the latter group. This study demonstrates that a visualized thing television can increase the effectiveness of academic achievement than books can. 결론의 경우
1) 본론에서 요약한 내용 + 주장 (which is better) 작성 + 전체 글에 대한 마무리 문장.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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LIMITED
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LIMITED
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LIMITED
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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